BIG DECISIONS

Ok, well I have been agonizing over this decision for a little while now but it is finally made....let me take you back!!!  A few months ago I was on a walk at the state lake by my house, it wasn't out of the ordinary for me to be walking out there.  At the end of the walk as I was almost to my mail box I noticed a car drive past and I kept walking noticing that they turned around and were headed back.  Well I turned down my road and so did the car and stopped next to me.  It was a guy that had moved to Collinsville but when he lived in Nashville he went to church with us.  Anyway he asked about our adoption and said that he had a relative that was in the process of getting her second child from China and that her experience had been great and he thought she might be a good reference for us.  So I got her name and figured I probably wouldn't talk to her but it might be neat to read her story as lots of people that adopt do blogs as well.  So I did what anyone would do and facebooked her name.  Well eventually her and I began chatting on facebook.  I was immediately shocked by her adoption timeline...it was obvious that God had really designed her story as it was an unheard of timeline.  I immediately started thinking about whether I was with the right agency.  I just couldn't believe that someone could have the experience that she had.  In talking to her though I met another lady that adopted using the same agency and her story was very similar.  Just an amazing experience that you just don't usually hear about.

So I started praying about what all this means for us.  I put it on the back burner and was just going to pray about it.  Well in the mean time I had some things pop up with my social worker, things that she should have known but that I ended up teaching her.  I have never adopted before and she is a social worker in charge of adoption....she should have known this stuff.  That started to make me question the relationship with my agency as I just didn't feel right with them.  Ever since the convo with the social worker at the beginning where she basically said that maybe I should find a new agency...I just haven't felt like they were on my team...I felt more like I was walking on egg shells trying to keep them happy so that they didn't kick me out of their agency.  Well this put me into really praying about whether we were with the right agency.  So...I began asking others to pray with me.  Well I have been doing research and talking to the agency and what I really like is that basically they are a China Special Needs agency...they aren't dipping in the domestic and all of that...their heart is really for the China Special Needs children.  They go to China and have relationships with 3 orphanages where they get all the referrals from those institutes....and they also participate in the shared list.  So.....today clarity came.  I can't tell you what happened.  I can tell you that I haven't slept well in 3 days just seriously stressing over this but today it just became clear!!  I met these ladies all because it was God's plan and I really feel like we have been led to this new agency.  I am just trusting even tho it is really scary!!!  So....I will spend the next couple of weeks getting all the stuff together to change agencies.  For those wondering, we don't start over...we will basically pick up where we are however because this agency is smaller we will get more attention and should get things moving faster.  So please continue to pray for us that this is where God wants us to be.  Also pray that we are one step closer to meeting Mabry.