Friday, December 27, 2013
Dossier is in china!!!
Just a quick update!!! I have tracked our dossier and it made it to Chine Friday morning at 11am China time!!!!! Just one more thing we have done!!! Hoping for an LID (log in date) next week sometime. Once you have LID you are eligible for a referral!!!!!! Bring on 2014!!!!!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
God shows up BIG
This "process" started in March 2013 when we filled out our application for adoption. At that time I kept saying that my goal was to have my paperwork sent off by the end of the year. It was pushing it but it gave me something to work towards. We all know how the immigration wait went!!! The 2 weeks expected wait reached 62 days before we got approval. This definitely all but ruined our chances of getting our dossier out in time. This is where God steps in......my fingers can't type fast enough to explain!!!
So, I received word thru email that we got immigration approval on Dec 12...as you may recall since we were waiting so long for the approval I went ahead and send the rest of my dossier documents off to get state sealed and authenticated in case something needed corrected. Well all of those were fine so the courier kept them until she received my immigration approval so that I would just pay express shipping to me once. So they were finished. Well the actual immigration approval came to my house on december 14...a saturday. Well that gave me all weekend to do every time line possible in my head!!!! After talking to the courier on Sunday it became clear that I could expedite the process TREMENDOUSLY if I went to Chicago on monday and got the document state sealed and dropped it off at the consulate....since our courier works Monday, tuesday and thursday, all I had to do was drop off and pay to have it expedited, then she could pick up on thursday (today) and overnight it to me!!! So....even though this is something that I would NEVER do I left my house at 2:30 am on monday morning and headed to the train station. I caught the 4am train to Chicago. Got to Chicago about 9:30, jumped in a cab and went to the index to get the state seal done...this was to be a quick process but had to be done in order to get the authenticating done. So I had my form notarized in nashville the night before and when I got to the index they informed me that the notary had put her name in a blank that should have had my name.....this meant that they wouldn't accept it. HOLY MOLY!!! Now what!!! I just travelled all the way to Chicago and can't get any of this done.....thankfully this is the first time God stepped in. The night before when I was getting it notarized I had 3 forms with me to have her notarize just in case I would need an extra.....well the first one I filled out at her house I messed up so I just put it aside....well thankfully that form was in there. So I had one that hadn't been notarized yet. I showed the guy and the index and he said that I could walk 4 blocks and there was a notary and then I could come back and finish up...Thanks God!!!! SO I hustled those 4 blocks realizing the time crush I was sure to be in due to the consulate closing for lunch and then for the day at 2:30. SO I got it notarized and hustled back ( I have to be honest I hustled for time but also in fear of being part of the knock out game!) and when I got back the guy said that the document was now fine and I could take a seat and he would finish it up!!! SO about 10 min later my name was called and I was on my way!! I walked across the street to Office Max and made the copies of the document and then caught a cab to the consulate.
The consulate was VERY intimidating!!! All these people that didn't speak english rode up the elevator with me and were literally running from the elevator to the consulate room!! I guess they knew that place MUCH better than me and how difficult it would be to get a place in line and be seen that day. This is where God stepped in again....when I got to the door there was a lady standing by the door and she must have seen it in my eyes and said...Are you courtney....ummmm...yes....well she said that she was Denise Hope...my courier!!! She had been there making her delivery for the day and even though she is a pro with it she knows how difficult it can be!!!! So she waited there for me so that she could do the drop off for me!!! The other good thing about her being there is that she grabs a consulate number and gets thru the line WAY faster...what would have taken me 2 hours took her 20 min!!!! She then said welll hon what are your plans...I said well I will probably grab lunch and then wait until 4 to catch my train home. It was not even noon yet as she saved the day for sure!!! She then went on to offer to drive me to the mall on michigan ave (which I know rather well) and I accepted....so I got to eat there and walk around a bit before heading to the train station..
Confession....I was walking out of the water tower mall and I heard someone else yelling my name....I turned around and it was the american girl store....so yes I went in and made a purchase!!! What can I say, I am only human!!!
So I then grabbed a taxi to the train station and caught my train without a hitch...also met some lovely ladies at the station!!!! I know you are all thinking, wow that is a day full of God stepping in to show that He is in total control....but people, this isn't where this story ends!!!!!
So I called my agency and told her of my whirlwind day in Chicago and she said that IF I could have my paperwork to her by monday morning that she would do everything she could to get my paperwork off to China by monday at the end of the day because the agency is closed from 12/24-1/3!!! So I knew that I would have to have my paperwork by friday in time to then overnight to Delaware!!!! Well Wed night we had some friends over that are moving out of state and I get an email from my courier. She said that she had decided out of the blue to drive into the consulte on wed (her day off) to pick up my document. Ok people she drives over an hour 1 way!!! This was totally God stepping again....she didn't ask for me to pay her more or anything, she just decided to show me Mercy!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!! She then went on to tell me that the USPS mailing that I paid for wasn't going to get it to me until friday so she was going to Fedex it to me so I would get it Thursday, thats right today!!!! So I have waited all day even though it looked like we were going to get it until 6 tonight according to lady on the phone...it showed up at 3:30!! Just enough time to make the copies that I needed, double check, and overnight to my agency today!!!!
While at the post office getitng ready to send my paperwork to my agency there was a guy that I go to church with there. I told him what I was doing and he offered to take a picture for me...which you won't see because I haven't showered yet as I have been waiting all day for fedex man!!!! Then before he left he said "I am only in the facility about 4 times a year, and now I know why I was in here today!" I mean how sweet is that!!!! God bless you Mitch!!!!
So I guess what this LONG message was trying to say is this...God showed up HUGE to prove to me that nothing is impossible for the God that saves!!! God can move mountains MUCH bigger than what He moved for me but the point is that it is clear that He is sovereign over this entire process. I just know that we will see the sweet face of Mabry soon...all in Gods timing!!! So...I will update when we are dossier to china but for today it is dossier to Delaware...and hoping to be DTC tomorrow or Monday!!!! Merry Christmas and a HAPPY New Year!!!!
So, I received word thru email that we got immigration approval on Dec 12...as you may recall since we were waiting so long for the approval I went ahead and send the rest of my dossier documents off to get state sealed and authenticated in case something needed corrected. Well all of those were fine so the courier kept them until she received my immigration approval so that I would just pay express shipping to me once. So they were finished. Well the actual immigration approval came to my house on december 14...a saturday. Well that gave me all weekend to do every time line possible in my head!!!! After talking to the courier on Sunday it became clear that I could expedite the process TREMENDOUSLY if I went to Chicago on monday and got the document state sealed and dropped it off at the consulate....since our courier works Monday, tuesday and thursday, all I had to do was drop off and pay to have it expedited, then she could pick up on thursday (today) and overnight it to me!!! So....even though this is something that I would NEVER do I left my house at 2:30 am on monday morning and headed to the train station. I caught the 4am train to Chicago. Got to Chicago about 9:30, jumped in a cab and went to the index to get the state seal done...this was to be a quick process but had to be done in order to get the authenticating done. So I had my form notarized in nashville the night before and when I got to the index they informed me that the notary had put her name in a blank that should have had my name.....this meant that they wouldn't accept it. HOLY MOLY!!! Now what!!! I just travelled all the way to Chicago and can't get any of this done.....thankfully this is the first time God stepped in. The night before when I was getting it notarized I had 3 forms with me to have her notarize just in case I would need an extra.....well the first one I filled out at her house I messed up so I just put it aside....well thankfully that form was in there. So I had one that hadn't been notarized yet. I showed the guy and the index and he said that I could walk 4 blocks and there was a notary and then I could come back and finish up...Thanks God!!!! SO I hustled those 4 blocks realizing the time crush I was sure to be in due to the consulate closing for lunch and then for the day at 2:30. SO I got it notarized and hustled back ( I have to be honest I hustled for time but also in fear of being part of the knock out game!) and when I got back the guy said that the document was now fine and I could take a seat and he would finish it up!!! SO about 10 min later my name was called and I was on my way!! I walked across the street to Office Max and made the copies of the document and then caught a cab to the consulate.
The consulate was VERY intimidating!!! All these people that didn't speak english rode up the elevator with me and were literally running from the elevator to the consulate room!! I guess they knew that place MUCH better than me and how difficult it would be to get a place in line and be seen that day. This is where God stepped in again....when I got to the door there was a lady standing by the door and she must have seen it in my eyes and said...Are you courtney....ummmm...yes....well she said that she was Denise Hope...my courier!!! She had been there making her delivery for the day and even though she is a pro with it she knows how difficult it can be!!!! So she waited there for me so that she could do the drop off for me!!! The other good thing about her being there is that she grabs a consulate number and gets thru the line WAY faster...what would have taken me 2 hours took her 20 min!!!! She then said welll hon what are your plans...I said well I will probably grab lunch and then wait until 4 to catch my train home. It was not even noon yet as she saved the day for sure!!! She then went on to offer to drive me to the mall on michigan ave (which I know rather well) and I accepted....so I got to eat there and walk around a bit before heading to the train station..
Confession....I was walking out of the water tower mall and I heard someone else yelling my name....I turned around and it was the american girl store....so yes I went in and made a purchase!!! What can I say, I am only human!!!
So I then grabbed a taxi to the train station and caught my train without a hitch...also met some lovely ladies at the station!!!! I know you are all thinking, wow that is a day full of God stepping in to show that He is in total control....but people, this isn't where this story ends!!!!!
So I called my agency and told her of my whirlwind day in Chicago and she said that IF I could have my paperwork to her by monday morning that she would do everything she could to get my paperwork off to China by monday at the end of the day because the agency is closed from 12/24-1/3!!! So I knew that I would have to have my paperwork by friday in time to then overnight to Delaware!!!! Well Wed night we had some friends over that are moving out of state and I get an email from my courier. She said that she had decided out of the blue to drive into the consulte on wed (her day off) to pick up my document. Ok people she drives over an hour 1 way!!! This was totally God stepping again....she didn't ask for me to pay her more or anything, she just decided to show me Mercy!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!! She then went on to tell me that the USPS mailing that I paid for wasn't going to get it to me until friday so she was going to Fedex it to me so I would get it Thursday, thats right today!!!! So I have waited all day even though it looked like we were going to get it until 6 tonight according to lady on the phone...it showed up at 3:30!! Just enough time to make the copies that I needed, double check, and overnight to my agency today!!!!
While at the post office getitng ready to send my paperwork to my agency there was a guy that I go to church with there. I told him what I was doing and he offered to take a picture for me...which you won't see because I haven't showered yet as I have been waiting all day for fedex man!!!! Then before he left he said "I am only in the facility about 4 times a year, and now I know why I was in here today!" I mean how sweet is that!!!! God bless you Mitch!!!!
So I guess what this LONG message was trying to say is this...God showed up HUGE to prove to me that nothing is impossible for the God that saves!!! God can move mountains MUCH bigger than what He moved for me but the point is that it is clear that He is sovereign over this entire process. I just know that we will see the sweet face of Mabry soon...all in Gods timing!!! So...I will update when we are dossier to china but for today it is dossier to Delaware...and hoping to be DTC tomorrow or Monday!!!! Merry Christmas and a HAPPY New Year!!!!
Sunday, December 15, 2013
GIANT step forward!!!
So there have been many trying points during this adoption paper chase!!!! Oct 10, I overnighted my I800A to homeland security...this is a request for the US to approve us adopting from China known as immigration approval! Well our receipt date was 10-11-12. We were told that it usually takes a couple weeks for approval however the US government decided to shut down...ugh....well this slowed EVERYTHING down and things backed up!!!!! So....62 days later we have APPROVAL!!!! I had been calling and checking on it weekly for the past few weeks....I knew we were really close but received an email from my officer assigned to my case saying that we were approved on 12-12...yep my 33 birthday!!! Best birthday ever!!! I told a friend that it is amazing how much difference a year makes because just last year on my birthday was the day that Chesney's obituary came out and it was a really terrible day for me!!!! SO what does this approval mean??? Well just yesterday, 12-14 we received the paper approval in the mail, so tonight I am going to make my copies and Christie Gajewski has graciously agreed to notarize it for me, and tomorrow morning I will be heading to springfield to get it state sealed. With all of my other documents I sent them to the courier and she did the state seal and the authenticating in Chicago....well after speaking with her it was clear that if I drive up Monday and do the state seal and then overnight it to her right after I will shave about a week off of my timeline...which for crazy adopting moms is like a year to the normal person!!!! So....that is the plan....Jason's cousin, Adam has agreed to come over tonight and stay all night so that he can keep Grady tomorrow....since it is a quick trip I just hate to make Grady be in the car all day!!!! After I get done at the Secretary of State tomorrow I am going to find the closest post office and overnight the paperwork on to our Courier....according to her timeline she will get it on Tuesday and of course doesn't work on wed...so the final paper will be delivered to the consulate on Thursday of this week...I am paying to have it expedited since it is just one document....unfortunately for my timeline Christmas is next week and the consulate closes Mon-Wed for that....so she will either pick my document up on Thursday or the following Monday.....as she doesnt' work Fridays either....so the moral of the story is that after Christmas I will be sending my dossier to my agency and then off to China!!!!!! Once our dossier is off to China we will wait for a LID which I believe is taking a couple of weeks. My goal is to have a LID (log in date) by the time that the January referrals come out at the end of January so that we will be eligible.....then it is a waiting game month to month....one shot a month to get her picture!!!! So now is when we are needing LOTS of prayers...prayers for discernment when we are looking at files, prayers for God's wisdom and direction as to knowing when it is Mabry that we are looking at, and most of all PATIENCE for me!!!! We started our paperwork in March and so although I am sure you all don't think that is a long time when you are consumed daily with timelines and deadlines it is an eternity. When you are pregnant you have a due date...and even though I never came close to the due date there was an idea of the longest you have to wait to meet that sweet sweet baby!!!! With this you process there is NO end date....we just wait until God is ready to reveal Mabry to us!!!! We are beyond excited that we are to a point where technically we could see her face in January!!! Will we?? We just don't know....but knowing that we are to the place where every month we FINALLY have a chance is the most amazing feeling!!!! God bless all of you for following along on the journey and giving us words of encouragement along the way!!!! God bless you for reading this blog because let me tell you in the future there will be LOTS to share on here!!!! I plan to blog while we are in China DAILY so that you all can be apart of that journey!!! There is a lot of differences between babies adopted and babies born to us as far as how the adjustment is handled and a process called Cocooning which I will touch on later when we are preparing to bring Mabry home!!!!!!!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Great ending to an otherwise sad day!!!
Well as all of you that are reading this know today was Chesney's 1st bday in heaven. We know that she was given to us to lead us to Mabry in China. Today was a pretty sad day. Just sad to think about what she would be doing now and all of that, but we know she is having a party in heaven. Well as I was sitting here watching Sound Of Music Live I checked my email to find an email from our courier. I knew last week that she was emailing me today but I had totally forgot. If you are following along you know that I sent our dossier paperwork to the Chinese consulate to get authenticated in Chicago so that when I get our I800A approval (797) I will just send that and then will send our dossier to China. I went ahead and sent these 13 documents because if there was a problem with any of them or something needed changed I could have it ready to send back when I send our 797 in. However, in the email from the courier she said that she picked all the documents up today and they are all APPROVED and authenticated!!!!! So....basically this doesn't mean much for the process as I still am waiting for our 797 but it does mean that at this time my paperwork is FINISHED!!!! Won't really have any more until we have a referral and are preparing to bring her home!!!!!! That means that we are THAT close!!!!!!! Praise the Lord for getting that email tonight!!!!!!! Also I am sure most of you have seen the testimony video I posted on facebook that we showed at church on sunday....however I know that I have some family that follow my blog by email and don't get on facebook....so I want to post it up here...plus it will be easier to get to in the future if it is on here. So here it is!!!! God bless every one of you on this journey with us!!!!
http://youtu.be/wu_7DQ31vuA
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http://youtu.be/wu_7DQ31vuA
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Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Thanksgiving is here!!
How is it possible that Thanksgiving is already here!! This year has been full of preschool, football, paperwork and LOTS of praying!!! When we started the adoption paperwork in March I thought for sure we would be logged in by the end of the year and I am sure now that we would have been had the government not shut down :(. We submitted our I800A Oct 10, and it is usually a 2 week turn around. However, with the government shut down they are just simply too far behind to make that happen!! It is also policy that the people needing immigration approval who have already received their referral get their paperwork put in front of ours, (this is a bummer now but when we have our referral and are submitting this paperwork we will be very happy about this!!!!). So yesterday I called for an update since it had been about 6 weeks since we submitted immigration and the officer said that it will probably be another 3 weeks. Well there goes my hope to be logged in by the end of the year. This isn't a HUGE deal as I am hoping to still be logged in by January but still a bummer!!!
Once we get the immigration approval, which I am hoping will be the week of Christmas, I will have to send it for authentication which seems to take a couple of weeks. However, with the holidays we will have to really have divine intervention to be logged in by January but I am still confident that it could happen!!! The only other issue is that the end of January is Chinese New Year which will shut down the government in Ch*na and probably means no referrals going out in January. The real question is how long do they shut the government down and that I don't know.
I have no question that God is in control and that this wait is needed to get us to Mabry....it's not fun and getting more difficult the closer we get. The good news is that we are almost there!!!!! Once we are logged in we immediately become eligible for a referral. I do know that it will take them about 3 months to translate our dossier so I would be ok waiting those 3 months before we get a referral because I know that the longer we have to wait to see her face the quicker we will travel once we see her.....and that will be a blessing. This is the crazy thoughts of an adopting mom.....don't want to wait now, want to wait then, don't want to wait then......sorry for the ramble.
Anyway, specific things to pray for are of course Mabry, her health and that she has someone loving her. For Mabry's birth mom that so bravely chose life for this sweet child even though it probably was the hardest thing she ever did. Timeline, pray that we get immigration approval before Christmas (just because I am seriously struggling with this wait). And then for me because I am struggling a bit with patience. However, I know that with Thanksgiving here, Chesney's birth day next week, my birthday, Christmas parties and Christmas the rest of this wait will move right along!!!!!!!
Thanks for following this blog....I am thinking about setting up a full family webpage where I would keep my blog on and also be able to post a lot of pictures. I know that it would be an easier way to keep everything in one place and I would be able to blog about more than just the adoption. I will let you all know if that happens or now!!!! God's blessings to you and your family and hope you have as much to be thankful for this year as I do!!!!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!
Once we get the immigration approval, which I am hoping will be the week of Christmas, I will have to send it for authentication which seems to take a couple of weeks. However, with the holidays we will have to really have divine intervention to be logged in by January but I am still confident that it could happen!!! The only other issue is that the end of January is Chinese New Year which will shut down the government in Ch*na and probably means no referrals going out in January. The real question is how long do they shut the government down and that I don't know.
I have no question that God is in control and that this wait is needed to get us to Mabry....it's not fun and getting more difficult the closer we get. The good news is that we are almost there!!!!! Once we are logged in we immediately become eligible for a referral. I do know that it will take them about 3 months to translate our dossier so I would be ok waiting those 3 months before we get a referral because I know that the longer we have to wait to see her face the quicker we will travel once we see her.....and that will be a blessing. This is the crazy thoughts of an adopting mom.....don't want to wait now, want to wait then, don't want to wait then......sorry for the ramble.
Anyway, specific things to pray for are of course Mabry, her health and that she has someone loving her. For Mabry's birth mom that so bravely chose life for this sweet child even though it probably was the hardest thing she ever did. Timeline, pray that we get immigration approval before Christmas (just because I am seriously struggling with this wait). And then for me because I am struggling a bit with patience. However, I know that with Thanksgiving here, Chesney's birth day next week, my birthday, Christmas parties and Christmas the rest of this wait will move right along!!!!!!!
Thanks for following this blog....I am thinking about setting up a full family webpage where I would keep my blog on and also be able to post a lot of pictures. I know that it would be an easier way to keep everything in one place and I would be able to blog about more than just the adoption. I will let you all know if that happens or now!!!! God's blessings to you and your family and hope you have as much to be thankful for this year as I do!!!!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Prayers appreciated!!
Ok....so I am sure you all saw the dossier paperwork picture where it was laid out on the floor!!! The process goes that you take 3/4 of that paperwork and get it to the IL Secretary of State office in Springfield and get it with the state seal, then once you have the state seal you get it to the China Consulate in Chicago to get authenticated. Once that stuff is done then it is ready to go to China. We chose to send our stuff to a courier and let her take it to springfield and Chicago. After talking to her, she suggested that we go ahead and send all of the paperwork that we have (we are still waiting for the immigration approval which is backed up and taking longer than expected) so that if there is a problem with any of these documents we will have time to fix them while we are waiting for the immigration paperwork!! The immigration approval will also need to go thru this process but once this round is done the stress level goes WAY down!!!!! So...today I mailed off the paperwork that I had to the courier and I should know in a couple weeks if all is well or if there are things I need to fix or redo......so this is where the prayers come in!!! If you could all be in prayer that this paperwork is right and that the Consulate finds no problems with it that would be great!!!
I did speak to the Homeland Security office that is in charge of our immigration approval and they said that right now they are running 60-75 days even though it use to only be 2-3 weeks. SO we could be waiting thru December for that paper still. I am praying that we get that approval early December so that we can move on to the next step but either way at least I got this paperwork in the mail today so I will have a little less stress!!! As soon as we get immigration approval and send it to the Sec of State and Consulate and as long as the other stuff I just sent is fine...we will be ready to send our Dossier to China!!!!! It seems there is an end in sight to the paperwork (at least this paperwork).
Prayers are appreciated!!!!
I did speak to the Homeland Security office that is in charge of our immigration approval and they said that right now they are running 60-75 days even though it use to only be 2-3 weeks. SO we could be waiting thru December for that paper still. I am praying that we get that approval early December so that we can move on to the next step but either way at least I got this paperwork in the mail today so I will have a little less stress!!! As soon as we get immigration approval and send it to the Sec of State and Consulate and as long as the other stuff I just sent is fine...we will be ready to send our Dossier to China!!!!! It seems there is an end in sight to the paperwork (at least this paperwork).
Prayers are appreciated!!!!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
INFERTILITY BITES!!!!
So I am a lover of music...I like things with a good beat or a good story. However, once in a great while there is a song that ever lyric seems to speak to you. I have a song that reminds me of each of my kids, including Chesney, that every time I hear it I go back to where I was and how I was feeling during that time. It is no secret that we have struggled with infertility for YEARS, pretty much since I had Connor 9.5 years ago. This song is one of those songs that has just totally spoke the words of my heart during our infertility...all of it....thru the pregnancies, miscarriages, Chesney and now Mabry. Every time it comes on my ipod I play it as loud as I can stand, I sing as loud as I possibly can, and I feel EVERY SINGLE WORD. This song came on today when I was in the car alone and I played it 4 times because it just speaks to me so strongly!!!! I felt the sense of urgency to post about it and share it as I know so many people that are struggling with their own infertility journeys and maybe this is for them. I am not sure if you are the one that is suppose to read this, if you are suppose to share this with someone that you know might need it at this moment, or if you are suppose to tuck it in the back of your brain for another time...all I know is that I heard loud and clear that I should post it. I hope that you enjoy!!!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Moving on!!!!!
So yesterday, oct 8, 2013, I got an email from my social worker saying that she received the letter of approval from DCFS saying that they had approved our home study!! Not that we were afraid that they wouldn't but this means that we are OFFICIALLY on to immigration!!! So yesterday she put the approval letter and copy of our home study into the mail!! I have the paperwork and supporting documents for the I-800A (immigration paperwork) together and as soon as I get the home study approval letter and the actual home study to put in there then I will be ready to submit the I-800A. I assume that this process will take about a month to get approved but really that is just what I am hoping, I think the website says that they will have it done within 90 days. So here is a specific prayer request, pray for a speedy trip thru immigration!! We will receive an appointment from homeland security to be fingerprinted AGAIN, this time by the FEDS...so once we get that appointment that means that they are working on ours. So today or tomorrow I should be able to submit my immigration paperwork and then we will start preparing our dossier to send to Chiba while we wait for immigration approval!!!! Things are really starting to move!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
a little update!!
Ok so I wanted to start with this picture since I spoke about it in a previous blog. This is Alex with Fred bird and John Mabry - and this event is why we have chosen to name our little China doll Mabry....check out my previous blog but basically it is all about character and humility and just being a darn good person!!!
Since I wanted to post this picture I also want to give you a bit of an update!!! So we met with our social worker on thursday of last week and read thru our home study. She had her supervisor reviewing it also and this week it should be sent to DCFS for their IL state approval. She said in the mean time that we should be putting together our I800A which is our immigration approval paperwork. So the state approval will take about 2 weeks so I filled out the I800A and am in the process of reordering all our birth certificates because in the life of adoption they only have a 6 month shelf life, so the ones I ordered in March are no longer good. So basically I just have to wait for those to come back and our IL approval and then we will mail it off for immigration approval to bring Mabry here!!! Then the next step once we have immigration approval is to gather and submit our dossier to China. Once that has been submitted we will receive a log in date and that is when the official "wait" begins. Our agency said that they feel the longest we will wait is 6 months for a referral but we believe that God is in complete control so we will wait how ever long we need to but are hoping it is sooner than later. The way it works though is once you have a LID (log in date) you are officially eligible for a referral so we will wait and see what God has in store....this paper trail has an end in sight!!!!!!
Thanks for following along on this journey with us...more exciting things to come!!!!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Whales...do they still exist?
So today in church Pastor did another great sermon and although this isn't what he was preaching about his sermon totally led to this blog!!! During his sermon he said that Christians today think that if only God would send a whale to swallow me when I am going the wrong way that I would then know what God wants for me....now his sermon went on from there but this is where I am staying...because He totally DOES!!!! Now that whale might not be a fish in the ocean, although I am certain He totally could if he wanted to!!! I have had many "whales" in my life in the past 10 years!!!
Although adoption has always been something that I have been interested in, Jason and I would NEVER be where we are today, in the process of adopting a special needs daughter from China, without all the "whales" we have experienced!!! I am telling you it is pure obedience that has brought us here!!! This was NOT our plan for our life....and we learned from the "whales" that when we run from what God has planned for us you will NEVER win....he will use the "whales" over and over until you become obedient to where He wants you. And I will say that we must really be slow learners!!!
During the "whales" that we know as 6 miscarriages, we still looked at that as though maybe it wasn't the right time, or maybe God thought that we were done having kids. So instead of fully listening to where God was leading us we both were more comfortable with the idea that the timing wasn't right or that we should be done with having kids. I prayed that God would take the desire for more children away from me and that I would be content with the family that I had. I will say that I did receive an answer to that prayer as the desire never left, so I knew that God was calling us to have more children, what I didn't know is how. So then we got pregnant with Miss Chesney and felt like the timing had been right and that our family would be complete. Honestly without the pregnancy of Chesney, adoption would have never happened. The miscarriages never opened Jason's heart to adoption. It was in the delivery room with Chesney that Jason looked at me and said, "I don't ever want to see you go thru this again, when you are ready we are goign to talk about adoption". Now at this time those were just words, but it sure didn't take long before those words became a clearer picture. We still weren't obedient as we went from there to the idea of surrogacy. This would be awesome, we had an amazing person that was excited to be a surrogate for us so surely this is where God wants us...WRONG again!! The final "whale" was when the door to surrogacy abruptly shut without any warning and against all odds!!!
So....finally we became obedient to where God wanted us, and we are totally at peace that this is exactly where we are suppose to be. Lucky for Jonah it only took 1 whale for him to see that God had a plan for him. Jason and I didn't get it as quickly but God was faithful in continuing to send those "whales" in order to show us His perfect plan for us!!!
So I just want to say that if you are truly praying and searching for what God has planned in your life, He will totally use a whale, figuratively or actually, to get your attention and to lead you to obedience!!! Trust that He is sovereign!! I had someone just the other day say that my blog is making them consider adoption. Now this is a family that was otherwise DONE having kids. I hope to do many things thru this blog: advocate for orphans, advocate for adoption, and show people that being obedient to God leads to the most amazing results. I will say that adoption isn't for everyone...but just because you are comfortable with your life now doesn't mean that God isn't having you read my blog to show you that you aren't being obedient to His calling. Maybe He is calling you to buy a shirt, help with other fundraisers that we will do for the orphanage, read the book I blogged about and gain a heart for the orphaned, adopt, or just find the obedience in another part of your life. God doesn't promise that we will live this perfect, comfortable little life. I promise though that although this isn't where Jason and I would have designed our life to be we are beyond excited for this journey!!!
Although adoption has always been something that I have been interested in, Jason and I would NEVER be where we are today, in the process of adopting a special needs daughter from China, without all the "whales" we have experienced!!! I am telling you it is pure obedience that has brought us here!!! This was NOT our plan for our life....and we learned from the "whales" that when we run from what God has planned for us you will NEVER win....he will use the "whales" over and over until you become obedient to where He wants you. And I will say that we must really be slow learners!!!
During the "whales" that we know as 6 miscarriages, we still looked at that as though maybe it wasn't the right time, or maybe God thought that we were done having kids. So instead of fully listening to where God was leading us we both were more comfortable with the idea that the timing wasn't right or that we should be done with having kids. I prayed that God would take the desire for more children away from me and that I would be content with the family that I had. I will say that I did receive an answer to that prayer as the desire never left, so I knew that God was calling us to have more children, what I didn't know is how. So then we got pregnant with Miss Chesney and felt like the timing had been right and that our family would be complete. Honestly without the pregnancy of Chesney, adoption would have never happened. The miscarriages never opened Jason's heart to adoption. It was in the delivery room with Chesney that Jason looked at me and said, "I don't ever want to see you go thru this again, when you are ready we are goign to talk about adoption". Now at this time those were just words, but it sure didn't take long before those words became a clearer picture. We still weren't obedient as we went from there to the idea of surrogacy. This would be awesome, we had an amazing person that was excited to be a surrogate for us so surely this is where God wants us...WRONG again!! The final "whale" was when the door to surrogacy abruptly shut without any warning and against all odds!!!
So....finally we became obedient to where God wanted us, and we are totally at peace that this is exactly where we are suppose to be. Lucky for Jonah it only took 1 whale for him to see that God had a plan for him. Jason and I didn't get it as quickly but God was faithful in continuing to send those "whales" in order to show us His perfect plan for us!!!
So I just want to say that if you are truly praying and searching for what God has planned in your life, He will totally use a whale, figuratively or actually, to get your attention and to lead you to obedience!!! Trust that He is sovereign!! I had someone just the other day say that my blog is making them consider adoption. Now this is a family that was otherwise DONE having kids. I hope to do many things thru this blog: advocate for orphans, advocate for adoption, and show people that being obedient to God leads to the most amazing results. I will say that adoption isn't for everyone...but just because you are comfortable with your life now doesn't mean that God isn't having you read my blog to show you that you aren't being obedient to His calling. Maybe He is calling you to buy a shirt, help with other fundraisers that we will do for the orphanage, read the book I blogged about and gain a heart for the orphaned, adopt, or just find the obedience in another part of your life. God doesn't promise that we will live this perfect, comfortable little life. I promise though that although this isn't where Jason and I would have designed our life to be we are beyond excited for this journey!!!
Monday, August 26, 2013
MUST READ
Ok...So I am literally typing this blog just as fast as I can...it is like my brain is working so fast that my fingers can't keep up. I have never felt as strong about anything as I do at this moment so I hope you are all prepared to listen!!! So I downloaded 2 books this morning, I know that anyone that knows me and is reading this thinks that is pretty funny because I HATE to read. Anyway, they are both by the author Kay Bratt. I am already almost finished with the first one and it is a book that every single person on the planet must read!!!! The title of the book is "Silent Tears" by Kay Bratt. I won't tell you too much because I honestly feel so serious about everyone reading and not only that but buy the kindle version and get it on your ipad, iphone or any ebook device so that you can start reading it today!!! Here is just a little bit about the book, Kay moved to China and lived there for approximately 4 years due to her husbands job. While she was there she was a volunteer at an orphanage there and this book is basically the journal that she kept while she was there. It is brutally honest and raw and something that anyone from this great country couldn't possibly imagine!!!
I am more serious then ever about my fundraising for the orphans in China!!! I have been a bit saddened by the fact that everyone isn't jumping at the opportunity to spend $20, get a shirt in return but be helping such a great cause. Now I am on fire!!!! I am going to be planning many more fundraisers in the future. Please know that we are paying for our own adoption, that is NOT what this fundraising is about. This is about raising enough to pay the debt that the orphanage tells us that we have to pay for them having our daughter there for how ever long...and then any extra we can raise will be donated in the form of special bottles for babies with Cleft lip/cleft palate, bars of soap, diapers, formula, toys, clothing and anything else that will be used specifically for the children in the orphanage and their care!!!!
I want to say that I seriously hate to read!!!! If you are sitting there not even considering getting this book to read because you just don't like to read I promise you will be so appalled by what is going on in this book that you won't be able to put it down. I also challenge you to read it and consider donating in the form of a check, buying a tshirt, or participating in any other fundraiser that we will be doing such as a possible trivia night or something along those lines. At this point we have raised a minimal amount but I hope to raise enough to make a different to the one orphanage that we will come in contact with. Please read the book!!! Get informed with what these poor precious helpless babies are going thru on a daily basis!!!!! Then if God opens your heart consider a shirt for the people in your family who sleep on a mattress, in the warmth of your house, and eat meals until they are full with snacks in the middle, and take hot showers daily, and run and play with toys or even get to go outside!!!!! Know that there are children on the other side of the world that use their fingers for entertainment or softly stroke their own arms in order to feel some sort of human loving touch. I also want to say that not all orphanages are bad....but all orphanages are full of children who can't possibly get the kind of care that a child deserves, even if the nannies there have the best intentions. So this isn't about bad nannies...it's about orphans!!!! God doesn't call us all to adopt but He does call us all to help orphans!!!! Also if you have an idea for a fundraiser please contact me. I am willing to do what I need to because at this point this is a mission trip that hopefully I will get to go on next year and as any other mission trip that your church plans there has to be funds in order to get the supplies needed to help these sweet, innocent children!!!!!! Also if you have a church that would want to get involved and help me sell my shirts please let me know!!! The shirts are an easy way for someone to help and they can have something in return!!! I would be grateful to put them for sale in a church bulletin or even if I need to make a trip there on a sunday I will be up for that too.....together we can do this!!!
I am more serious then ever about my fundraising for the orphans in China!!! I have been a bit saddened by the fact that everyone isn't jumping at the opportunity to spend $20, get a shirt in return but be helping such a great cause. Now I am on fire!!!! I am going to be planning many more fundraisers in the future. Please know that we are paying for our own adoption, that is NOT what this fundraising is about. This is about raising enough to pay the debt that the orphanage tells us that we have to pay for them having our daughter there for how ever long...and then any extra we can raise will be donated in the form of special bottles for babies with Cleft lip/cleft palate, bars of soap, diapers, formula, toys, clothing and anything else that will be used specifically for the children in the orphanage and their care!!!!
I want to say that I seriously hate to read!!!! If you are sitting there not even considering getting this book to read because you just don't like to read I promise you will be so appalled by what is going on in this book that you won't be able to put it down. I also challenge you to read it and consider donating in the form of a check, buying a tshirt, or participating in any other fundraiser that we will be doing such as a possible trivia night or something along those lines. At this point we have raised a minimal amount but I hope to raise enough to make a different to the one orphanage that we will come in contact with. Please read the book!!! Get informed with what these poor precious helpless babies are going thru on a daily basis!!!!! Then if God opens your heart consider a shirt for the people in your family who sleep on a mattress, in the warmth of your house, and eat meals until they are full with snacks in the middle, and take hot showers daily, and run and play with toys or even get to go outside!!!!! Know that there are children on the other side of the world that use their fingers for entertainment or softly stroke their own arms in order to feel some sort of human loving touch. I also want to say that not all orphanages are bad....but all orphanages are full of children who can't possibly get the kind of care that a child deserves, even if the nannies there have the best intentions. So this isn't about bad nannies...it's about orphans!!!! God doesn't call us all to adopt but He does call us all to help orphans!!!! Also if you have an idea for a fundraiser please contact me. I am willing to do what I need to because at this point this is a mission trip that hopefully I will get to go on next year and as any other mission trip that your church plans there has to be funds in order to get the supplies needed to help these sweet, innocent children!!!!!! Also if you have a church that would want to get involved and help me sell my shirts please let me know!!! The shirts are an easy way for someone to help and they can have something in return!!! I would be grateful to put them for sale in a church bulletin or even if I need to make a trip there on a sunday I will be up for that too.....together we can do this!!!
Friday, August 23, 2013
BIG DECISIONS
Ok, well I have been agonizing over this decision for a little while now but it is finally made....let me take you back!!! A few months ago I was on a walk at the state lake by my house, it wasn't out of the ordinary for me to be walking out there. At the end of the walk as I was almost to my mail box I noticed a car drive past and I kept walking noticing that they turned around and were headed back. Well I turned down my road and so did the car and stopped next to me. It was a guy that had moved to Collinsville but when he lived in Nashville he went to church with us. Anyway he asked about our adoption and said that he had a relative that was in the process of getting her second child from China and that her experience had been great and he thought she might be a good reference for us. So I got her name and figured I probably wouldn't talk to her but it might be neat to read her story as lots of people that adopt do blogs as well. So I did what anyone would do and facebooked her name. Well eventually her and I began chatting on facebook. I was immediately shocked by her adoption timeline...it was obvious that God had really designed her story as it was an unheard of timeline. I immediately started thinking about whether I was with the right agency. I just couldn't believe that someone could have the experience that she had. In talking to her though I met another lady that adopted using the same agency and her story was very similar. Just an amazing experience that you just don't usually hear about.
So I started praying about what all this means for us. I put it on the back burner and was just going to pray about it. Well in the mean time I had some things pop up with my social worker, things that she should have known but that I ended up teaching her. I have never adopted before and she is a social worker in charge of adoption....she should have known this stuff. That started to make me question the relationship with my agency as I just didn't feel right with them. Ever since the convo with the social worker at the beginning where she basically said that maybe I should find a new agency...I just haven't felt like they were on my team...I felt more like I was walking on egg shells trying to keep them happy so that they didn't kick me out of their agency. Well this put me into really praying about whether we were with the right agency. So...I began asking others to pray with me. Well I have been doing research and talking to the agency and what I really like is that basically they are a China Special Needs agency...they aren't dipping in the domestic and all of that...their heart is really for the China Special Needs children. They go to China and have relationships with 3 orphanages where they get all the referrals from those institutes....and they also participate in the shared list. So.....today clarity came. I can't tell you what happened. I can tell you that I haven't slept well in 3 days just seriously stressing over this but today it just became clear!! I met these ladies all because it was God's plan and I really feel like we have been led to this new agency. I am just trusting even tho it is really scary!!! So....I will spend the next couple of weeks getting all the stuff together to change agencies. For those wondering, we don't start over...we will basically pick up where we are however because this agency is smaller we will get more attention and should get things moving faster. So please continue to pray for us that this is where God wants us to be. Also pray that we are one step closer to meeting Mabry.
So I started praying about what all this means for us. I put it on the back burner and was just going to pray about it. Well in the mean time I had some things pop up with my social worker, things that she should have known but that I ended up teaching her. I have never adopted before and she is a social worker in charge of adoption....she should have known this stuff. That started to make me question the relationship with my agency as I just didn't feel right with them. Ever since the convo with the social worker at the beginning where she basically said that maybe I should find a new agency...I just haven't felt like they were on my team...I felt more like I was walking on egg shells trying to keep them happy so that they didn't kick me out of their agency. Well this put me into really praying about whether we were with the right agency. So...I began asking others to pray with me. Well I have been doing research and talking to the agency and what I really like is that basically they are a China Special Needs agency...they aren't dipping in the domestic and all of that...their heart is really for the China Special Needs children. They go to China and have relationships with 3 orphanages where they get all the referrals from those institutes....and they also participate in the shared list. So.....today clarity came. I can't tell you what happened. I can tell you that I haven't slept well in 3 days just seriously stressing over this but today it just became clear!! I met these ladies all because it was God's plan and I really feel like we have been led to this new agency. I am just trusting even tho it is really scary!!! So....I will spend the next couple of weeks getting all the stuff together to change agencies. For those wondering, we don't start over...we will basically pick up where we are however because this agency is smaller we will get more attention and should get things moving faster. So please continue to pray for us that this is where God wants us to be. Also pray that we are one step closer to meeting Mabry.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Waiting isn't that fun
Well there is no real news about the process as we are still waiting for the international team to approve our home study. Our social worker said today that they must have gotten hit with a bunch at one time...ugh. After they approve it, we will then submit it to DCFS to be approved but once approved by the international team the DCFS approval is certain, just a step that has to be done.
I tried to order Cardinal tshirts that you can personalize and have Mabry and 47 put on the back but a week later I got an email saying that they couldnt' make those because basically since Mabry is retired they can no longer use his name and number. I then stopped by the Cardinal Store at the mall where you can buy jerseys and have a players name and number put on the back. I explained my story to the lady at the desk and she said that even though she wasn't suppose to she would do it for me because of our story. SO I bought all 4 jerseys before she could change her mind. It was like Christmas to get those Jerseys!!!! I do want to get a red cardinals jersey in a toddlers size for her and have it personalized at that same store. The lady said that they didn't have a red one that small but if I found one she would personalize it for me. So I will see if I can find it. How cute would it be for us to all wear it the day she returns off the plane and for her to have one on too!!!!! I sure hope it all works out!!!
So here we are just waiting but that is something that God is really helping me with. I am becoming much more aware that this is just the way the process is, I cannot change it, and therefore I just have to go with the flow and things will happen when they are meant to happen!!! I have been watching youtube videos of "gotcha days" and found a video where they went to the childs orphanage.....I will say that there will be many tears shed in China....both happy and excited tears but also tears of sadness for the ones left behind. Definitely a very eye opening experience so far and I cannot even imagine the lessons on the horizon. Remember that ALL the money raised from the tshirts go to the orphanage....Mabry is a lucky one that will get a loving family but there are many that remain and we want to do our part to help them.
I tried to order Cardinal tshirts that you can personalize and have Mabry and 47 put on the back but a week later I got an email saying that they couldnt' make those because basically since Mabry is retired they can no longer use his name and number. I then stopped by the Cardinal Store at the mall where you can buy jerseys and have a players name and number put on the back. I explained my story to the lady at the desk and she said that even though she wasn't suppose to she would do it for me because of our story. SO I bought all 4 jerseys before she could change her mind. It was like Christmas to get those Jerseys!!!! I do want to get a red cardinals jersey in a toddlers size for her and have it personalized at that same store. The lady said that they didn't have a red one that small but if I found one she would personalize it for me. So I will see if I can find it. How cute would it be for us to all wear it the day she returns off the plane and for her to have one on too!!!!! I sure hope it all works out!!!
So here we are just waiting but that is something that God is really helping me with. I am becoming much more aware that this is just the way the process is, I cannot change it, and therefore I just have to go with the flow and things will happen when they are meant to happen!!! I have been watching youtube videos of "gotcha days" and found a video where they went to the childs orphanage.....I will say that there will be many tears shed in China....both happy and excited tears but also tears of sadness for the ones left behind. Definitely a very eye opening experience so far and I cannot even imagine the lessons on the horizon. Remember that ALL the money raised from the tshirts go to the orphanage....Mabry is a lucky one that will get a loving family but there are many that remain and we want to do our part to help them.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Just a quick update!!
So just a quick update!! I got a message via the portal from our social worker yesterday letting me know that the agency has approved our home study and now it is sent off for the international team to approve. Once approved by the international team (she said probably about a week), then we will be on to getting our Dossier (packet) together and then we send that to China. Now the Dossier is simple forms for the most part, much easier then the home study, just busy work because things have to be state sealed (in springfield) and also notarized. Also you have to get new birth certificates and things because they have to be marked within 6 months. So all of that will have to be done over. No worries I can handle busy work!!! So this is great news and if all goes well then in a couple weeks I will be on a mission to get my Dossier together!!!! Once we send it to China, we will get confirmation on the day that they receive it which is known as your LID or Log in Date. Once you have one of these then you are eligible to receive a referral!! Getting a referral is a lot like trying to get pregnant, they do referrals once a month and if you don't get one then you wait for the next month to try again!!! So basically it will just be a waiting game. I will get into more detail about all of that when that time comes but right now just know that things are happening although it doesn't really seem like it!!! Knowing that we might be a couple weeks away from starting the dossier just seems crazy to me!!! I checked my records and we got our formal application approved on March 26 and here it is August 9 and we are only a couple weeks away from preparing for our final step before we are just waiting!!!! God is so good.
Thanks for following this journey and we are excited about the stuff that is yet to come...and btw...please buy a tshirt!!!!! It is for a great cause and we would greatly appreciate it!!!! I have Small, Med, Large, and XL in stock in my car and any other size I will be more than happy to order!!!!!! Please get a hold of me if you are interested...they are $20
Thanks for following this journey and we are excited about the stuff that is yet to come...and btw...please buy a tshirt!!!!! It is for a great cause and we would greatly appreciate it!!!! I have Small, Med, Large, and XL in stock in my car and any other size I will be more than happy to order!!!!!! Please get a hold of me if you are interested...they are $20
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Sorry it took so long
Ok so I have several things to say for this blog so I am sorry if this gets lengthy but there is some good info at the end that you might want to know so bear with me!! I have literally been having this blog run thru my head over and over and I knew that I needed to do it but when I would sit down the words just weren't right. So I have decided to just go for it and hope that it comes out the way I want it to!!!
I will start by a little update. Home visits are FINISHED!!! She has 1 month to get the report written and approved and then hopefully we will move right along to the Dossier which is the packet that goes to China!!! The 3rd and final visit was pretty painless other than the fact that she interviewed our boys without us present!!! She apparently just asked Grady if he would share his toys with his new little sister to which I believe he actually answered yes!!! Connor was as sweet as ever though as the social worker had to tell us 2 of his answers!! She said that she asked him if he felt like we were good parents and he replied "they are the best parents that I know". She also asked him what he thinks about having a sister that doesn't look like him and he said "it doesn't matter what she looks like, just what is in her heart". That is just soooo connor!!! The social worker said she would have thought it was rehearsed if not for his face when he said it. So she said down with Jason and I just for a bit longer and just like that the home visits were over!!! She did say that she might have forgotten a few things so I have been watching the portal for a question or two but nothing yet.
Ok so I have been getting a great deal of response to this adoption, I have received ALOT of questions and I first want to say that I LOVE the questions!!! They always start with "do you mind if I ask you a few questions" and the answer is always NOT AT ALL. At this point I have very limited information as we are still in the middle of it but I am willing to give you any information that I have or any advice that I can!! Please know that international adoption and domestic are quite a bit different so I am probably no help with that!! Along with the questions though I get a lot of "you guys are amazing" or "what an amazing thing that you guys are doing" or "there will be many jewels on your crown in heaven" and let me say this is just not the case AT ALL. I am a planner and as a child I thought I had my life all planned out!!! I have always wanted to be a mommy and when that happened I just assumed that God will let me life be as perfect as I had dreamed. However, years of infertility and 6 miscarriages was definitely NOT in my plans!!! When I got pregnant with Chesney though life was finally going to end the way I had planned. I was going to have the 3 kids that Jason and I had agreed on, I was going to have my 2 boys and finally a little girl. All of my children were going to be white headed little kids running around and life was perfect again!!! Losing Chesney was never in the plan! Having a tombstone at a cemetery that I am forever attached to was not the plan. This morning Pastor Danny spoke on Jesus and how if we believe He was God then we must believe that He is sovereign. That yes it is true that He healed the blind man, but it is also true that He made that man blind, let him live blind for 30 years so that everyone would know he was blind, and then healed him for His glory!!!!! God doesn't promise life is going to be this perfect little bubble just because we are followers, in fact if you read the bible the men that followed Jesus side by side on His time on earth didn't have a perfect life AT ALL.....some were stoned, beheaded and even skinned alive. So who am I to think that my life is going to be perfect!!! So back to my point, less than 8 months ago I had my life all figured out and none of it had to do with fundraisers for an orphanage, mountains of paperwork, invasive interviews in my home, and flying across the world....but it did include finishing my family with my daughter. This is where God stepped in. God LITERALLY blew doors closed and opened and left no doubt for either Jason or myself that this adoption was exactly where He wanted us to be...although it was no our plan it was His. So you see us adopting a special needs daughter from an orphanage in China was NEVER in our plans so we are not these great people doing great things and hoping to get rewarded. We are simply being obedient. So what you mistake for greatness is simply obedience. Not everyone is called to leave the US and live in a place like Chad Africa and be a missionary....not everyone is called to go to China and adopt a special needs child....not everyone is called to do the same things....all that God asks is that what we are called to we are to be obedient!! So that's where we are....we are so excited to get MeiMei even though she wasn't exactly what we had planned she is EXACTLY what God planned so it is going to be even better then we could have imagined!!! I love the Christian author Lysa TerKeurst so I will end this part of the blog with a quote from her that fits this just soooo well!!!!
“One thing you can be assured of is that God has already worked out all the details of what your obedience will accomplish-and it is good. We need not fear what our obedience will cause to happen in our life. We should only fear what our disobedience will cause us to miss.”
Finally I have a little something exciting to share!!! I am from a small town of 350 people, so everyone knows everyone and everything. There was a special little boy that basically affected everyone in St Peter's life, his name was Alex Wodtka. Now let me say that because I was a child during all of this I am going to tell it as I remember and if any of my facts are absolutely perfect then I'm sorry!! Anyway, Alex was born with a heart defect on April 1. He had a heart transplant and was a sweet little boy with a huge future. It's not my place to give his entire story and isn't necessary for this story anyway. Alex ended up in St Louis where he would eventually pass to be with the Lord, but while he was there he had a "wish" to meet Mark McGwire. This was around 1998 and McGwire was who all little boys wanted to meet. However, because he was who he was he wasn't able/chose not to go to the hospital to meet him. BUT Fred Bird went along with John Mabry. I was a Junior in high school during this time and this was a HUGE character building moment for me. I never want to be seen the way McGwire was seen in our small little town....like he just couldn't take the time to see this little boy that just wanted to meet him because he was a good ball player. I also learned that I wanted to be the kind of person that John Mabry was and wanted to teach my kids that you are never too busy to be there for someone else. So I had the picture of Alex, Fred Bird and Mabry in a collage frame in my dorm room thru college because it was a defining moment of sorts. So when we were trying to find a name for MeiMei I immediately fell in love with the name Mabry. So our little China doll will be named Mabry and therefore the boys could still call her MeiMei if they choose to. I hope that I can teach my children to be great examples of their faith and also have the compassion that John Mabry had to go to the hospital even when he wasn't the one that was asked to go!!! Lets just say that I might have to buy a Mabry cardinals jersey for all 4 of us for the airport.....you are all welcome to sport yours too....lol.
By the way...tshirts are still for sale......
I will start by a little update. Home visits are FINISHED!!! She has 1 month to get the report written and approved and then hopefully we will move right along to the Dossier which is the packet that goes to China!!! The 3rd and final visit was pretty painless other than the fact that she interviewed our boys without us present!!! She apparently just asked Grady if he would share his toys with his new little sister to which I believe he actually answered yes!!! Connor was as sweet as ever though as the social worker had to tell us 2 of his answers!! She said that she asked him if he felt like we were good parents and he replied "they are the best parents that I know". She also asked him what he thinks about having a sister that doesn't look like him and he said "it doesn't matter what she looks like, just what is in her heart". That is just soooo connor!!! The social worker said she would have thought it was rehearsed if not for his face when he said it. So she said down with Jason and I just for a bit longer and just like that the home visits were over!!! She did say that she might have forgotten a few things so I have been watching the portal for a question or two but nothing yet.
Ok so I have been getting a great deal of response to this adoption, I have received ALOT of questions and I first want to say that I LOVE the questions!!! They always start with "do you mind if I ask you a few questions" and the answer is always NOT AT ALL. At this point I have very limited information as we are still in the middle of it but I am willing to give you any information that I have or any advice that I can!! Please know that international adoption and domestic are quite a bit different so I am probably no help with that!! Along with the questions though I get a lot of "you guys are amazing" or "what an amazing thing that you guys are doing" or "there will be many jewels on your crown in heaven" and let me say this is just not the case AT ALL. I am a planner and as a child I thought I had my life all planned out!!! I have always wanted to be a mommy and when that happened I just assumed that God will let me life be as perfect as I had dreamed. However, years of infertility and 6 miscarriages was definitely NOT in my plans!!! When I got pregnant with Chesney though life was finally going to end the way I had planned. I was going to have the 3 kids that Jason and I had agreed on, I was going to have my 2 boys and finally a little girl. All of my children were going to be white headed little kids running around and life was perfect again!!! Losing Chesney was never in the plan! Having a tombstone at a cemetery that I am forever attached to was not the plan. This morning Pastor Danny spoke on Jesus and how if we believe He was God then we must believe that He is sovereign. That yes it is true that He healed the blind man, but it is also true that He made that man blind, let him live blind for 30 years so that everyone would know he was blind, and then healed him for His glory!!!!! God doesn't promise life is going to be this perfect little bubble just because we are followers, in fact if you read the bible the men that followed Jesus side by side on His time on earth didn't have a perfect life AT ALL.....some were stoned, beheaded and even skinned alive. So who am I to think that my life is going to be perfect!!! So back to my point, less than 8 months ago I had my life all figured out and none of it had to do with fundraisers for an orphanage, mountains of paperwork, invasive interviews in my home, and flying across the world....but it did include finishing my family with my daughter. This is where God stepped in. God LITERALLY blew doors closed and opened and left no doubt for either Jason or myself that this adoption was exactly where He wanted us to be...although it was no our plan it was His. So you see us adopting a special needs daughter from an orphanage in China was NEVER in our plans so we are not these great people doing great things and hoping to get rewarded. We are simply being obedient. So what you mistake for greatness is simply obedience. Not everyone is called to leave the US and live in a place like Chad Africa and be a missionary....not everyone is called to go to China and adopt a special needs child....not everyone is called to do the same things....all that God asks is that what we are called to we are to be obedient!! So that's where we are....we are so excited to get MeiMei even though she wasn't exactly what we had planned she is EXACTLY what God planned so it is going to be even better then we could have imagined!!! I love the Christian author Lysa TerKeurst so I will end this part of the blog with a quote from her that fits this just soooo well!!!!
“One thing you can be assured of is that God has already worked out all the details of what your obedience will accomplish-and it is good. We need not fear what our obedience will cause to happen in our life. We should only fear what our disobedience will cause us to miss.”
Finally I have a little something exciting to share!!! I am from a small town of 350 people, so everyone knows everyone and everything. There was a special little boy that basically affected everyone in St Peter's life, his name was Alex Wodtka. Now let me say that because I was a child during all of this I am going to tell it as I remember and if any of my facts are absolutely perfect then I'm sorry!! Anyway, Alex was born with a heart defect on April 1. He had a heart transplant and was a sweet little boy with a huge future. It's not my place to give his entire story and isn't necessary for this story anyway. Alex ended up in St Louis where he would eventually pass to be with the Lord, but while he was there he had a "wish" to meet Mark McGwire. This was around 1998 and McGwire was who all little boys wanted to meet. However, because he was who he was he wasn't able/chose not to go to the hospital to meet him. BUT Fred Bird went along with John Mabry. I was a Junior in high school during this time and this was a HUGE character building moment for me. I never want to be seen the way McGwire was seen in our small little town....like he just couldn't take the time to see this little boy that just wanted to meet him because he was a good ball player. I also learned that I wanted to be the kind of person that John Mabry was and wanted to teach my kids that you are never too busy to be there for someone else. So I had the picture of Alex, Fred Bird and Mabry in a collage frame in my dorm room thru college because it was a defining moment of sorts. So when we were trying to find a name for MeiMei I immediately fell in love with the name Mabry. So our little China doll will be named Mabry and therefore the boys could still call her MeiMei if they choose to. I hope that I can teach my children to be great examples of their faith and also have the compassion that John Mabry had to go to the hospital even when he wasn't the one that was asked to go!!! Lets just say that I might have to buy a Mabry cardinals jersey for all 4 of us for the airport.....you are all welcome to sport yours too....lol.
By the way...tshirts are still for sale......
Monday, July 1, 2013
Second home visit
Alright so we had our second and most dreaded visit and I can say we survived!!! It was as they explained they questioned each of us individually for over an hour. I'm sure you are all shocked to hear that Jason took longer than mine lol. The questions ranged from the members of our family, past relationships, deaths in our family, infertility, how we fight, what we fight about, strengths and weaknesses of us and our spouse and on and on. Basically every detail of your life is fair game. I can see why they warn you that you might get emotional but since I talk about our fertility stuff all the time, I survived.
So we have this week off and then our final visit with our social worker is on the 11th. She will then have a couple weeks to write report and then on to dossier!!!!!!!!! Dossier is the paperwork that we have to send to china. So basically it is a much smaller stack of papers and we get the state seal and notarized as needed and then mail to china and get a log in date (LID). One we have an LID we are officially a waiting family!!!!!! This process is moving right along and we couldn't be more happy!!!!
I want to tough on the tshirts again. We are not fundraising to pay for our adoption but we want our friends and family to be involved in this process and we also want to be able to help the orphanage that we get meimei from to take tremendous care of future babies waiting for their forever family. Please consider getting a shirt for your entire family!!!! They are $20 and come in any size you could want!!! You can contact me or anyone in my family!!! Also I have order forms at the dental office if u want to get one or maybe make copies and put them at your place of business!!!!! Also feel free to request order forms if you want to get some group orders!!!! It really is a great cause and we really want to show how much we appreciate these people caring for our daughter!!!! I am thinking about setting up a Facebook page for the adoption updates and also would love for you that order shirts to take a picture of your family in the shirts and post on our page!!! I will post more information on that when I get it going. In the meantime, please sell and buy the shirts!!! If I am going to reach my goal of 300 shirts I am going to need for all of you to buy them, put order forms in your work and ask everyone you know if they have bought one yet!!!! Thanks to all of you that have already ordered one, I cannot wait to see your pictures!!!!!!!
Monday, June 24, 2013
1st home visit
Well we officially survived our first home visit!!!!! This one was actually a very easy visit and it seems the only one that we are dreading is the second one which is already this thursday!!!! This is the visit where they take you individually and grill you for about an hour and a half each she said....also they don't want the kids in the house as it can be "heavy topics". All I know is that I don't know what in the world all of this is for....but it's the process and therefore we have to do it!!!! The first visit she walked thru our house and when we sat down to talk it was basically reasking the questions that we filled out in our paperwork so that was fine. The only shocking question so far was when she asked about our guardians we chose for our kids in case we die....that was fine as I guess I see why they want to make sure all of that is set up....but hey needed to know what their annual income was. So are you telling me that they have to meet an ideal income when they are simply stepping in to raise our kids because we have died.....seems crazy to me. However, they are fully qualified so it all worked out fine!!!!
I also wanted to touch on one of the fundraisers we are doing for an orphanage donation. I want to first say that we know how the government runs the orphanages and therefore we will use this money the way our agency advises. Jason's office is going to donate special bottles for babies with cleft lip and palate so that we can give those to the orphanage but there are many needs for baby items. So if they think we should take the money in china and buy a bunch of formula, bottles, clothes or whatever that is what we will do. As of now I am just going to start an account that will all be given to them in one fashion or another. So right now we are selling tshirts specifically designed for this adoption!!! The outline over the words on front is the outline of China. The shirts are $20 and yes I know that is quite an expensive tshirt but remember that this money is going to something really great and you get a tshirt in return!!!!! We spend $20 on things for our kids that will eventually not be appreciated and thrown away......so if that is your hang up I ask that you pray about it and maybe your heart will be opened. We are so blessed here in our little bubble that it is so hard to even fathom the basic needs not being met for other children. I remember a mom that I know that returned from getting her daughter in China and she said "we don't have starving kids right here among us so when you feel that in your hands it is so hard to even explain". You see they aren't starving the kids because they are mean nannies at an orphanage that take out their anger on babies....they are under feeding them because they don't have the means to feed them what they really need. So I like to say that we are NOT all called to adopt, but we are ALL called to help orphans.....so please consider buying a tshirt for your whole family!!!! I know it's asking alot but just consider it!!!! I will attach a picture of the front/back of the tshirt and if you are interested then message me and we can also ship the shirts to you for an additional $2, so NO EXCUSES ;)
I also wanted to touch on one of the fundraisers we are doing for an orphanage donation. I want to first say that we know how the government runs the orphanages and therefore we will use this money the way our agency advises. Jason's office is going to donate special bottles for babies with cleft lip and palate so that we can give those to the orphanage but there are many needs for baby items. So if they think we should take the money in china and buy a bunch of formula, bottles, clothes or whatever that is what we will do. As of now I am just going to start an account that will all be given to them in one fashion or another. So right now we are selling tshirts specifically designed for this adoption!!! The outline over the words on front is the outline of China. The shirts are $20 and yes I know that is quite an expensive tshirt but remember that this money is going to something really great and you get a tshirt in return!!!!! We spend $20 on things for our kids that will eventually not be appreciated and thrown away......so if that is your hang up I ask that you pray about it and maybe your heart will be opened. We are so blessed here in our little bubble that it is so hard to even fathom the basic needs not being met for other children. I remember a mom that I know that returned from getting her daughter in China and she said "we don't have starving kids right here among us so when you feel that in your hands it is so hard to even explain". You see they aren't starving the kids because they are mean nannies at an orphanage that take out their anger on babies....they are under feeding them because they don't have the means to feed them what they really need. So I like to say that we are NOT all called to adopt, but we are ALL called to help orphans.....so please consider buying a tshirt for your whole family!!!! I know it's asking alot but just consider it!!!! I will attach a picture of the front/back of the tshirt and if you are interested then message me and we can also ship the shirts to you for an additional $2, so NO EXCUSES ;)
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Love
So I have been wanting to write this specific blog for awhile now but it just never felt like the right time. Today being fathers day and Tuesday being our wedding anniversary seems like the perfect time. I want to start by saying that Jason doesn't even read my blog so this is not to get mushy with my husband, but rather I can give you a glimpse into his perspective.
The background needed for this blog is that after we had Connor, Jason was a GREAT dad. He really loved it and was just naturally good at it. I will never forget his face the day that all of our children were born but especially when we had Connor. That was the first time I had ever seen that face on him....that pure love....Connor didn't have to do anything and Jason was just totally in love. Now I have always dreamed of a house full of kids and have always wanted to be a mom. Therefore, infertility really was hard for me to deal with. So after Connor when we went thru YEARS of infertility it was really hard. I would always bring up adoption and Jason wouldn't even consider it. His stance was that if God wanted us to have more we would, and that we should just feel blessed to have Connor. Now I have always felt blessed to have Connor, but when you are a woman and are dealing with infertility, I really don't believe it matters if you already have 1, 2, 3 or no kids, it is ALWAYS hard. After we had Grady, Jason was finished. I almost died during my delivery with Grady because of a placental abruption and Grady also was lucky to have survived. Therefore, Jason felt that it was best to be finished. BUT we had agreed that if our second was a boy I would get to try one more time for a girl, but if it were a girl then we would be finished. Well we all know that Grady was a boy!!! So I held him to that!!!! We dealt with much more infertility and then got pregnant with Chesney and we all know how that went.
So this is where I am going to start sharing a little glimpse of Jason's feelings. So the weekend before I delivered Chesney I had noticed that she wasn't moving. I hadn't felt her really all that consistently yet but I just had noticed that I hadn't felt her. So Monday I decided to call our home health nurse that came to give me my shots every week. She said that legally since I was 20 weeks she had to have me see my dr. So, I called my dr and they weren't concerned at all but wanted me to come in for a quick heartbeat check. So off Grady and I went to the dr over an hour away at St Johns Mercy. We got there and they took me back and the nurse checked and didn't find the heart beat....not rattled she had someone else came in who did an ultrasound...she didn't say anything and went and got the dr to do another ultrasound....and then she said those words "I'm sorry honey, there is no heartbeat". I immediately was hysterical and they took Grady to get a snack and gave me a bit more information. They said that they could tell that it had been recent. So....they sent me downstairs to confirm it by an ultrasound technician. On the way out of the office Jason called from work to check on me. I could barely speak when I was telling him so the dr took the phone and explained to him and said that they could either send me home and have me come back in the morning or they could immediately admit me. So he told them to admit me as he didn't want me to drive myself home and that he would cancel the rest of his patients and get there as soon as possible. He also took care of calling our family and setting up my mom to get Grady for me and then getting Connor also. So after another ultrasound they admitted me to labor and delivery. Well Jason got there that evening and the process began. I had obviously never been thru this before so neither of us knew what we were getting into. We assumed as many of you I'm sure do that since she was so small that it wouldn't be painful and that it would be fast...WRONG!!! I'm sure by now following my blogs you know that I was induced Monday evening and had steady contractions until Wednesday at almost 2pm when I delivered her. Because she was breach and so small I was having a hard time progressing. Anyway Jason was amazing. It was Jason, my dad, and I in the room the entire time and I finally got an epideral because the foley bulb was too much for me to deal with. So long story short I delivered her without any medical people in the room. I felt something, had Jason check and he said "Courtney don't move, I think she's here". Ok so what does that mean you think....what does she look like, does it now look like a baby. So my dad darted out of the room and the medical staff came in. I know I have said how amazing they were but they really were. Jason walked over to look at her laying on the blanket and he was seriously great. As you can imagine we had no idea what to expect but it was much better then either of us expected.
I know you are all wondering where is this blog going...I'm getting there I promise!!! Literally when I was in the intense part of my labor and before the epideral Jason looked at me and said...I never want to see you go thru anything like this again, we are going to look into adoption when we are done with this. Those are words that I never thought I would hear from him. It was at that moment that God's plan was becoming a little bit clearer. Now dont' get me wrong...it didn't make that trauma any less....but it just showed me that God is still in control. God was all over that hospital room. I will do another blog to explain all of that but today I will just say that we felt him so many times it was crazy!!!! So I delivered Chesney on Wed around 2 and they finally let me go home that evening late. Jason was thrilled to get home and be in our bed, I was a little apprehensive because I was prepared to bring home a baby so it was very sad...but a couple of my friends had come and cleaned my house, done my laundry and put my baby stuff in the basement for me. So that really helped!!!! Jason was off on Thursday because that is his normal day off. That afternoon I was looking thru the history on our computer which I do all the time because I have an 8 year old and I want to make sure I am checking on him. Well in checking that I saw that Jason had googled "How to help a wife who lost a child" and also "how to help my grieving wife". It was at that moment that I realized that for him it was more important that he be strong for me and that he really wanted to have the right words to say to me. Very sweet!!!
It didn't take long for me to remind Jason of that conversation in the hospital room. Adoption!!!! Although it totally has taken Jason out of his comfort zone he knows that it is something that I have to do. I can't end like this. I can't end with sadness. Our family had a little sister for 20 short weeks and now it only feels right to complete our family with our little MeiMei. The process is long and grueling but we both know that in the end it is going to make us stronger as a family and also complete our family. I had someone tell me that I had lost my mind because I immediately went into the adoption mode, and that I didn't grieve. I would say to that until you have walked in my shoes don't judge. Even people who have been thru infertility, all of our journeys are different. I have also had people say that we should adopt from the US...and to that I would say that God's children are all different colors and in all different places and for us China is the right choice....but if you want to adopt then feel free to adopt from the US. All I can say is that this is right for us and I am not trying to force anyone into making the same decisions that we made.
I want to end this blog by saying that it is in the tough times that you see just how much people mean to you and I couldn't have gotten thru any of this without my Jason!!! He will never read this and will never know any of this but I want any of you who are the Jasons for someone else to realize that every single thing that you do is appreciated even if it isn't expressed. I would also like to say that everyone's journey is different but that is what makes it great!!!!
The background needed for this blog is that after we had Connor, Jason was a GREAT dad. He really loved it and was just naturally good at it. I will never forget his face the day that all of our children were born but especially when we had Connor. That was the first time I had ever seen that face on him....that pure love....Connor didn't have to do anything and Jason was just totally in love. Now I have always dreamed of a house full of kids and have always wanted to be a mom. Therefore, infertility really was hard for me to deal with. So after Connor when we went thru YEARS of infertility it was really hard. I would always bring up adoption and Jason wouldn't even consider it. His stance was that if God wanted us to have more we would, and that we should just feel blessed to have Connor. Now I have always felt blessed to have Connor, but when you are a woman and are dealing with infertility, I really don't believe it matters if you already have 1, 2, 3 or no kids, it is ALWAYS hard. After we had Grady, Jason was finished. I almost died during my delivery with Grady because of a placental abruption and Grady also was lucky to have survived. Therefore, Jason felt that it was best to be finished. BUT we had agreed that if our second was a boy I would get to try one more time for a girl, but if it were a girl then we would be finished. Well we all know that Grady was a boy!!! So I held him to that!!!! We dealt with much more infertility and then got pregnant with Chesney and we all know how that went.
So this is where I am going to start sharing a little glimpse of Jason's feelings. So the weekend before I delivered Chesney I had noticed that she wasn't moving. I hadn't felt her really all that consistently yet but I just had noticed that I hadn't felt her. So Monday I decided to call our home health nurse that came to give me my shots every week. She said that legally since I was 20 weeks she had to have me see my dr. So, I called my dr and they weren't concerned at all but wanted me to come in for a quick heartbeat check. So off Grady and I went to the dr over an hour away at St Johns Mercy. We got there and they took me back and the nurse checked and didn't find the heart beat....not rattled she had someone else came in who did an ultrasound...she didn't say anything and went and got the dr to do another ultrasound....and then she said those words "I'm sorry honey, there is no heartbeat". I immediately was hysterical and they took Grady to get a snack and gave me a bit more information. They said that they could tell that it had been recent. So....they sent me downstairs to confirm it by an ultrasound technician. On the way out of the office Jason called from work to check on me. I could barely speak when I was telling him so the dr took the phone and explained to him and said that they could either send me home and have me come back in the morning or they could immediately admit me. So he told them to admit me as he didn't want me to drive myself home and that he would cancel the rest of his patients and get there as soon as possible. He also took care of calling our family and setting up my mom to get Grady for me and then getting Connor also. So after another ultrasound they admitted me to labor and delivery. Well Jason got there that evening and the process began. I had obviously never been thru this before so neither of us knew what we were getting into. We assumed as many of you I'm sure do that since she was so small that it wouldn't be painful and that it would be fast...WRONG!!! I'm sure by now following my blogs you know that I was induced Monday evening and had steady contractions until Wednesday at almost 2pm when I delivered her. Because she was breach and so small I was having a hard time progressing. Anyway Jason was amazing. It was Jason, my dad, and I in the room the entire time and I finally got an epideral because the foley bulb was too much for me to deal with. So long story short I delivered her without any medical people in the room. I felt something, had Jason check and he said "Courtney don't move, I think she's here". Ok so what does that mean you think....what does she look like, does it now look like a baby. So my dad darted out of the room and the medical staff came in. I know I have said how amazing they were but they really were. Jason walked over to look at her laying on the blanket and he was seriously great. As you can imagine we had no idea what to expect but it was much better then either of us expected.
I know you are all wondering where is this blog going...I'm getting there I promise!!! Literally when I was in the intense part of my labor and before the epideral Jason looked at me and said...I never want to see you go thru anything like this again, we are going to look into adoption when we are done with this. Those are words that I never thought I would hear from him. It was at that moment that God's plan was becoming a little bit clearer. Now dont' get me wrong...it didn't make that trauma any less....but it just showed me that God is still in control. God was all over that hospital room. I will do another blog to explain all of that but today I will just say that we felt him so many times it was crazy!!!! So I delivered Chesney on Wed around 2 and they finally let me go home that evening late. Jason was thrilled to get home and be in our bed, I was a little apprehensive because I was prepared to bring home a baby so it was very sad...but a couple of my friends had come and cleaned my house, done my laundry and put my baby stuff in the basement for me. So that really helped!!!! Jason was off on Thursday because that is his normal day off. That afternoon I was looking thru the history on our computer which I do all the time because I have an 8 year old and I want to make sure I am checking on him. Well in checking that I saw that Jason had googled "How to help a wife who lost a child" and also "how to help my grieving wife". It was at that moment that I realized that for him it was more important that he be strong for me and that he really wanted to have the right words to say to me. Very sweet!!!
It didn't take long for me to remind Jason of that conversation in the hospital room. Adoption!!!! Although it totally has taken Jason out of his comfort zone he knows that it is something that I have to do. I can't end like this. I can't end with sadness. Our family had a little sister for 20 short weeks and now it only feels right to complete our family with our little MeiMei. The process is long and grueling but we both know that in the end it is going to make us stronger as a family and also complete our family. I had someone tell me that I had lost my mind because I immediately went into the adoption mode, and that I didn't grieve. I would say to that until you have walked in my shoes don't judge. Even people who have been thru infertility, all of our journeys are different. I have also had people say that we should adopt from the US...and to that I would say that God's children are all different colors and in all different places and for us China is the right choice....but if you want to adopt then feel free to adopt from the US. All I can say is that this is right for us and I am not trying to force anyone into making the same decisions that we made.
I want to end this blog by saying that it is in the tough times that you see just how much people mean to you and I couldn't have gotten thru any of this without my Jason!!! He will never read this and will never know any of this but I want any of you who are the Jasons for someone else to realize that every single thing that you do is appreciated even if it isn't expressed. I would also like to say that everyone's journey is different but that is what makes it great!!!!
Saturday, June 8, 2013
China program
So on Thursday June 6 we received a message in our portal. Now the portal is what Bethany uses to communicate with their families instead of email. This way there are no secrets...everyone at bethany can see ALL communication as it is like a private message board with each family. You get lots of country info every month thru the portal as well as communicate with all case workers during the process. Ok so this post was an official welcome into the China program. Basically I knew we were entered in the program as soon as our paperwork was approved but to see those words were so exciting!!!! I told Jason that adoption is such a crazy thing because it seems like at any moment something could happen to take the opportunity away. I guess this is a little bit because even when I was pregnant we kind of always waited for something to happen to make it go away....after many miscarriages it just never feels real. That is similar to how I feel about this adoption except it is just test after test that you have to pass. I don't know that everyone that goes thru adoption feels this way but it is definitely how I feel. In fact when I told Jason that getting that message made me feel like this was really going to happen his reply was, "this was going to happen as soon as we decided to do it". I guess adoption is more of a guarantee then being pregnant but still nothing is guaranteed!!!! Just funny how he sees it vs how I see it!!!
After the home visits we will move on and be working with the China team after that. So basically this new team will be the ones that will "match" us with our daughter....although we all know that God really is doing that. What I love about Bethany is that just because you are first on the list doesn't mean you get the first little one that they find that matches your profile. The people at Bethany pray about who they think is the best family for that specific child and yes it is probably going to be someone close to the top of the list but this to me allows God to move.
So a few things coming. I am going to have a huge garage sale at my house at some point...looking like August. I am selling LOTS of baby stuff and clothes and anything else that people want to donate to the cause. All of the money raised will be put in an account to be used as a donation to the orphanage that we pick MeiMei up from. So if there is something around your house that you are wanting to sell but don't want to do the work or care about the money then feel free to donate it to our garage sale for the orphanage!!!! Anything that is not sold will be donated to my church's Hands of Mercy program that gives things away to people in need. Also coming even sooner is a tshirt sale. I designed a charcoal gray tshirt that is amazing!!! All of the money raised from the tshirt sale will be going for a donation to the orphanage as well. Not all of us are called to adopt, but we are ALL called to help orphans. This is a great opportunity to buy a cool tshirt for your entire family and help a great cause!!!! Here's a hint...."Love Crosses Oceans"!!! So I am going to do a small order quickly for family and friends so that there are shirts out there so everyone can take order forms, show off their shirt and help sell them. So look for an order form on fb or in my blog coming soon!!!!!
After the home visits we will move on and be working with the China team after that. So basically this new team will be the ones that will "match" us with our daughter....although we all know that God really is doing that. What I love about Bethany is that just because you are first on the list doesn't mean you get the first little one that they find that matches your profile. The people at Bethany pray about who they think is the best family for that specific child and yes it is probably going to be someone close to the top of the list but this to me allows God to move.
So a few things coming. I am going to have a huge garage sale at my house at some point...looking like August. I am selling LOTS of baby stuff and clothes and anything else that people want to donate to the cause. All of the money raised will be put in an account to be used as a donation to the orphanage that we pick MeiMei up from. So if there is something around your house that you are wanting to sell but don't want to do the work or care about the money then feel free to donate it to our garage sale for the orphanage!!!! Anything that is not sold will be donated to my church's Hands of Mercy program that gives things away to people in need. Also coming even sooner is a tshirt sale. I designed a charcoal gray tshirt that is amazing!!! All of the money raised from the tshirt sale will be going for a donation to the orphanage as well. Not all of us are called to adopt, but we are ALL called to help orphans. This is a great opportunity to buy a cool tshirt for your entire family and help a great cause!!!! Here's a hint...."Love Crosses Oceans"!!! So I am going to do a small order quickly for family and friends so that there are shirts out there so everyone can take order forms, show off their shirt and help sell them. So look for an order form on fb or in my blog coming soon!!!!!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Elation to Frustration
I expected a roller coaster ride when we signed up for this, heck every one of my pregnancies have been one so why would this be any different. It's amazing how excited I was just over a week ago about finishing my paperwork and now I am frustrated. On May 24, I talked to my agency and was informed that they had received my paperwork and that everything was in place. She said that since Monday was a holiday that tuesday or wednesday I would be hearing from my social worker with our home study approval and then get to schedule our home visits. So Tuesday came and went with no word, and then Wednesday came and still no call. I decided Wed afternoon before they closed I would call my social worker and see if she knew anything yet. She told me that she was so busy that she didn't have time to go over it yet, and that she was told that she should go ahead and schedule my home visits. She said that again she is so busy that my first visit couldn't be until the last thursday of June.....now I know that no one else is keeping score like me, but I got my paperwork done in 7 weeks and now I have to wait 5 weeks from then to even start my home visits. Talk about being bummed out and frustrated!!!! That is just 5 weeks that nothing is being done and that is also 5 weeks longer until we get on the waiting list to wait for our daughter. But since this isn't something that I could change I scheduled our visits. The next day which was Thursday I called the social worker again to see if our home study had been approved yet....not that I am worried but you just want to hear those words when you have spent SO much time getting your information together. Again she told me that she hadn't been able to review it yet. I figured since I had expressed my anxiousness that surely by close on friday I would hear something....NOTHING!!! So I went all weekend again with that knot in my gut just wanting to hear those words!!!
So, Monday came and I decided to call the lady in St Louis at the agency that actually has my paperwork and she wasn't available so I asked to speak with the director. Well I got her machine and left a message just for her to call me....I have come to realize if you tell people what you want it will be much longer to get a call back. So then I called my social worker just to see if she had the answer....for something that was going to take a day to review and get back to me I think giving them over a week is plenty of time. So when she told me again that she hadn't been able to approve it, I wasn't that happy!! I expressed to her that I was getting frustrated because the only time I hear from them is when I call them and I feel like I have to call and call to get any response. She stated that she didn't want to make excuses but that they are short staffed because someone is on maternity leave so obviously the pregnant girls have to come first because they have a deadline. I also told her that I was frustrated that even starting my home visits was going to be a long wait and just expressed the things that were becoming frustrating. She told me that she would try to get back to me after she talked to her boss. So she called me back and told me that she couldn't officially approve the home study yet but that she glanced over it and it looked fine. Ok well that's something....still a little annoying but she was trying. Then she went on to tell me that if I wanted we could do a conference call with her and her boss and discuss whether this was going to be a good fit. She said that if I am already having trouble waiting then maybe adoption or this program wasn't the best decision for me as it is all about waiting.....ok.....momma bear almost came out. I was holding back tears when I expressed to her that I am fully prepared to wait for my daughter but I am not even on the waiting list yet and obviously I want to do everything I can to get on the list sooner then later. I then told her that I felt like I had expressed how I was feeling to her and their solution was to basically what seemed to me as trying to suggest that maybe I should leave their program. I seriously was almost in tears so I just told her that I didn't feel a conference call was necessary and that I would just basically deal with it because this is the path to my daughter.
So.....I get home and Jason is home for lunch and I start to tell him what had just happened and I was still upset. He obviously was upset too as you expect your agency to be advocates for you and want to be your support and what we felt like we got was just people who didn't want to deal with us. Also I feel like I am working so hard to get everything done that I can and they are making me wait 5 weeks....I get that I have to wait but I don't like wasting time to even get to start the process to get to be a waiting family. So while we are talking and he is getting frustrated my phone rings and it is the agency and all of a sudden I remember that I had left a message for the director. I decided not to answer the phone because the last thing I wanted was to be officially kicked out of the agency. Jason insisted that I answer the phone as this is our agency and we need to know that they are on our side. So I did and I am so thankful that I did. On the phone was the director whom we had met because she ran the all day class that we took. She was so nice. I told her I was afraid to talk to her because of what might happen and she said that it was totally fine and she was happy that I expressed my feelings to her. She also said that I wouldn't be black listed for speaking out and that they are short staffed but that just because of that the people using their agency now shouldn't have to suffer. So she was headed into a staff meeting and was going to try to find a solution to the problems. Unfortunately I don't think this is going to make my home visits any sooner but that is just something I am going to have to get over.
It's a tough situation because you want to make sure that you are watching out for your family but at the same time these people decide if you are approved, how long they wait to approve you, and everything else so you don't want to make them mad. I am still frustrated as it is now June 4th and we still haven't been officially approved but again I guess I am just going to have to get over it. I do want to say for all of you that have been thru the process or might be thinking this....I am fully prepared to wait....I just want to get to where we are waiting for our daughter and some of this waiting seems excessive!!!
So here we are.....elation to frustration. I still feel like God led us to this agency and I know that no agency is perfect. We are all human and they can't help it that they have someone on maternity leave. I just know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for our family and I need to make sure that I stay on top of it.....We can't wait to meet MeiMei and that is what we are doing all of this for.
So, Monday came and I decided to call the lady in St Louis at the agency that actually has my paperwork and she wasn't available so I asked to speak with the director. Well I got her machine and left a message just for her to call me....I have come to realize if you tell people what you want it will be much longer to get a call back. So then I called my social worker just to see if she had the answer....for something that was going to take a day to review and get back to me I think giving them over a week is plenty of time. So when she told me again that she hadn't been able to approve it, I wasn't that happy!! I expressed to her that I was getting frustrated because the only time I hear from them is when I call them and I feel like I have to call and call to get any response. She stated that she didn't want to make excuses but that they are short staffed because someone is on maternity leave so obviously the pregnant girls have to come first because they have a deadline. I also told her that I was frustrated that even starting my home visits was going to be a long wait and just expressed the things that were becoming frustrating. She told me that she would try to get back to me after she talked to her boss. So she called me back and told me that she couldn't officially approve the home study yet but that she glanced over it and it looked fine. Ok well that's something....still a little annoying but she was trying. Then she went on to tell me that if I wanted we could do a conference call with her and her boss and discuss whether this was going to be a good fit. She said that if I am already having trouble waiting then maybe adoption or this program wasn't the best decision for me as it is all about waiting.....ok.....momma bear almost came out. I was holding back tears when I expressed to her that I am fully prepared to wait for my daughter but I am not even on the waiting list yet and obviously I want to do everything I can to get on the list sooner then later. I then told her that I felt like I had expressed how I was feeling to her and their solution was to basically what seemed to me as trying to suggest that maybe I should leave their program. I seriously was almost in tears so I just told her that I didn't feel a conference call was necessary and that I would just basically deal with it because this is the path to my daughter.
So.....I get home and Jason is home for lunch and I start to tell him what had just happened and I was still upset. He obviously was upset too as you expect your agency to be advocates for you and want to be your support and what we felt like we got was just people who didn't want to deal with us. Also I feel like I am working so hard to get everything done that I can and they are making me wait 5 weeks....I get that I have to wait but I don't like wasting time to even get to start the process to get to be a waiting family. So while we are talking and he is getting frustrated my phone rings and it is the agency and all of a sudden I remember that I had left a message for the director. I decided not to answer the phone because the last thing I wanted was to be officially kicked out of the agency. Jason insisted that I answer the phone as this is our agency and we need to know that they are on our side. So I did and I am so thankful that I did. On the phone was the director whom we had met because she ran the all day class that we took. She was so nice. I told her I was afraid to talk to her because of what might happen and she said that it was totally fine and she was happy that I expressed my feelings to her. She also said that I wouldn't be black listed for speaking out and that they are short staffed but that just because of that the people using their agency now shouldn't have to suffer. So she was headed into a staff meeting and was going to try to find a solution to the problems. Unfortunately I don't think this is going to make my home visits any sooner but that is just something I am going to have to get over.
It's a tough situation because you want to make sure that you are watching out for your family but at the same time these people decide if you are approved, how long they wait to approve you, and everything else so you don't want to make them mad. I am still frustrated as it is now June 4th and we still haven't been officially approved but again I guess I am just going to have to get over it. I do want to say for all of you that have been thru the process or might be thinking this....I am fully prepared to wait....I just want to get to where we are waiting for our daughter and some of this waiting seems excessive!!!
So here we are.....elation to frustration. I still feel like God led us to this agency and I know that no agency is perfect. We are all human and they can't help it that they have someone on maternity leave. I just know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for our family and I need to make sure that I stay on top of it.....We can't wait to meet MeiMei and that is what we are doing all of this for.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Homestudy Paperwork FINISHED!!!
I am so excited to be blogging to say that today Jason and I went and got our TB tests read and picked up the results, and I also picked up the letter from our accountant. Those were the last 2 things that I needed to go in my last pack that I was sending to Bethany!!!! So I am officially done with the paperwork for the homestudy and am waiting to set up our home visits!!! I still have to do our packet but from what I understand, a big majority of what goes into that are the same things in the home study except I have to get them state sealed and consulate approved so that will be the challenge during that period. So as of now I am excited to have this part of the process finished!!! I am hoping to hear from Bethany in the next 2 weeks to see when our visits will start!!!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
HOLY SMOKES!!!!
So I am sitting down to write this blog FULL of excitement. For all of you who message me after my blogs about how you just cried and cried...this will NOT be one of those!!!! I just got off the phone with the adoption agency and confirmed that the things that I will be sending at the end of the week will complete our paperwork. Since this blog is intended to chronicle adoption among other things let me give you a list of what the first set of paperwork included:
Also today was the day we picked up Connor's report card...all As and he is finished for the summer. I am excited to have both boys home and get to slow down our pace a bit this summer!!! Glad to have all the paperwork done so that I can enjoy them and just want for the 3 home visits. The dossier probably won't be starting until school resumes....so that gives us this summer to chill a bit!!!
I want to end by saying that I really appreciate EVERYONE that had to help with this process....everyone that wrote a letter for my kids, or filled out the personal reference form and sent it back...I know that no one even complained but I am thrilled to call you all friends and am so thankful that you were so willing to step up and help us thru this process!! I cannot wait to get MeiMei home and get to share her with all of you!!!! Ending this paperwork just makes me feel like we have taken a HUGE step to getting her finally!!!! I will blog again at the end of the week when the packet is in the mail!!!! Have a great and blessed day!!! Enjoy those kiddos!!!!
- Financial statement - individual (one for each of us to show what we are each worth)
- financial statement - monthly (showing where every penny we make is spent
- verification of financials - bank statements
- special placement needs questionnaire (detailed form showing different needs)
- adoptive family information sheet
- family history (one for each - asks about our childhood and parents)
- SAFE questionnaire (one for each - again about how our childhood was)
- Employer reference (ours was from our accountant...that's fun this time of year)
- family member reference
- 5 personal references (each have to fill out a form and send back)
- Letter for Grady from babysitter
- Letter for Connor from sunday school teacher
- Jason's fingerprints for FBI, STATE, and CANTS
- Courtneys fingerprints for FBI, STATE, and CANTS
- fingerprint receipts
- ORI form
- Medical Exam (one for all 4 of us)
- Adoption release and consent
- TB test for Jason
- TB test for Courtney
- Drug test for Jason
- Drug test for Courtney
- Authorization of release of information
- Guardianship statement (what happens if Jason and I die on flight...had to have someone for our boys lined up)
- affidavit of health insurance coverage
- Permission/consent form
- unforeseen additional fees form
- change in family status form
- parental discipline policy
- notice of privacy practices
- recipient rights procedure
- full day of training sheet
- consumer grievance procedure
- prospective adoptive parent training requirement
- CPR card for Jason
- CPR card for Courtney
- 2 years previous tax returns
- copy of marriage license
- Copy of birth certificates ( one for all 4 of us)
- copy of pet vaccination records
- picture of family
- duty of disclosure I-800
- Also had to do 10+ hours of online hague training for each of us
- also had to read 5 books and each of us had to do a book report on it
Also today was the day we picked up Connor's report card...all As and he is finished for the summer. I am excited to have both boys home and get to slow down our pace a bit this summer!!! Glad to have all the paperwork done so that I can enjoy them and just want for the 3 home visits. The dossier probably won't be starting until school resumes....so that gives us this summer to chill a bit!!!
I want to end by saying that I really appreciate EVERYONE that had to help with this process....everyone that wrote a letter for my kids, or filled out the personal reference form and sent it back...I know that no one even complained but I am thrilled to call you all friends and am so thankful that you were so willing to step up and help us thru this process!! I cannot wait to get MeiMei home and get to share her with all of you!!!! Ending this paperwork just makes me feel like we have taken a HUGE step to getting her finally!!!! I will blog again at the end of the week when the packet is in the mail!!!! Have a great and blessed day!!! Enjoy those kiddos!!!!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Time Marches on.....
Random I know, but one of Connor's favorite songs is "Time Marches On" by Tracy Lawrence. I know that anyone that knows me very well is laughing and thinking, he is just like his mom!! Anyway, the song talks about how life changes and time moves on. I know that I have spoke about this before but yesterday I was struck twice with different emotions. First when I got home and saw the mail sitting on the island there was a card for me from Mercy HeartPrints. I knew exactly what it was. St John's Mercy has a program called HeartPrints. I will say that if anyone lives by a hospital and there isn't a program like this I challenge you to get involved and help start one!!! This program is headed by a nurse who delivered a still born child years ago. It is full of moms like me that have delivered a still born child and want to help others like us. So the day that I was admitted to the hospital I met the leader of this group and she visited me every day until we left the hospital. At first I was annoyed by her....I didn't want my friends there, so why would I want this stranger to keep coming in and asking me about my feelings and how I am doing. Little did I know how much this lady would do for me in the coming days!!! She had explained to me that she would be there when Chesney was born and after I was done holding her and ready to hand her over that she would take Chesney for a little while. At that point I was focused on the labor and didn't really pay attention to what she was saying. So the day came....I know it's hard to believe because she was so small but Chesney's delivery was VERY painful and of course VERY long. She was delivered without anyone in the room as once it happens it goes quick. So Jason was the one that told me that she was here and then he ran out to get the nurse. She then called the "HeartPrints lady". So they took her to the side table and wiped her off for a minute and then handed her to me. Jason and I held her for quite awhile and then the doctors needed to work on me some more so the "HeartPrints lady" took her and told me to call her when I wanted her to bring her back.
I really had no idea what was happening during that time but seriously let me tell you how amazing this lady is!!! She took Chesney and gave her a bath and then did pictures for me. She took some of the same pictures that we did of her but the one that she took that we never would have thought of is the picture that you have seen if I have showed you any picture. It was a picture of the bottom of her little feet. The other thing that she did is hand prints and foot prints. What a cherished memory of mine!!!! I have it framed as well as the foot picture. It's amazing how small the footprints are but how in the picture the feet look so big. Anyway, when they brought her back she also brought me things like the blanket that she was wrapped in, and a little homemade beaded ring made of beads and then the letter beads spelled out ANGEL. They had used it in the pictures of her so that you can see a size reference as it looks huge by her but it is a ring. She gave me ALL those memories of my sweet Chesney. How amazing is that!!!!! So anyway I opened what I knew would be a mothers day card because they sent me a homemade ornament at christmas and other cards along the way. What I didn't expect to find in the mothers day card was a matching ring to the ANGEL ring I received at the hospital but his time with MOM on it. Oh how I will cherish it!!! I smiled when I got it...I didn't cry....that is progress!!!!
Also yesterday we had an all day training at work...it was long and not really all that fun. At the end of the training after most of the girls had gone home the trainer was asking about grady who had just left. She asked if this was our only child and I said no that we had an older boy that was at school. She said "awe no beautiful blonde haired little girl?" Now not too long ago this would have been a huge trigger to my emotions but I was able to respond...."no, but we are in the process of adopting a little black haired girl from China". Not that I want to forget about Chesney because we talk about her all the time here....but I don't feel the need to put strangers in that awkward position of listening to what I know they don't need to hear. Now it's strange how time marches on....but it sure does.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Catching up....
WOWWY....I have wanted to blog so many times in the last 3 weeks but have been soooo busy and haven't had time to sit down and give it the justice that it deserves. First of all Chesney's due date has come and gone and I want to thank all those of you that sent me your thoughts that day, cards and especially the prayers. Boy did I feel the prayers!!! I was prepared for the emotions of that day and to be honest, the sadness was there but no more so then every other minute that I think about it. Maybe that day I spent a lot more time thinking about her but I made it thru and was fine. I did make a trip out to the cemetery while Grady was sleeping in the car and it was amazing to see that there is no longer a big lump of dirt, it was as though the burial was years ago not just 4 short months ago. I guess it is with everything else, time keeps going. I often go back "home" to St Peter and see someone that when I left was just a little kid, now they are graduating high school or already in college. It's amazing how I feel like I haven't aged that many years but to see them all grown up is a tough reminder that time is moving quickly. I guess that is how I felt at the grave that day, time is moving on whether I like it or not so I need to just keep up cause my boys need me to. So I guess April 19 was a great day where I felt Chesney and God really giving me permission to start focusing on MeiMei and not spending so much energy being sad. I know that Chesney is in God's hands and she is looking down at me and I want to make her proud and be a good example for her, just like I would want to do if she were here with me.
April 20!!! Wowwy, while we had Grady's bday party on this beautiful day, across the world China felt an earthquake of 7.0. After hearing about this I spent some time wondering, is MeiMei already born and left at an orphanage? Is she born and still with her birth mom who is struggling with whether to parent or not? Will the earthquake be the reason the mom couldn't parent? Is she even born yet? It's so crazy the things that go thru your mind. I mean I love MeiMei and I don't know anything about her. She may not even be born yet!!! My mind does wonder if this earthquake in any way will be the reason that MeiMei's birth mom couldn't parent. Or whether she is already in the orphanage. I know that even when we have MeiMei the only answer we will have is the day that she entered the orphanage because almost all babies that are in the orphanages in China are abandoned somewhere, it isn't like here where the mom calls an agency and hands the baby over to an agency worker, the child is actually abandoned on a door step. Now sometimes they may have a note that gives their birthday but more than not the birthday that we are giving in the referral is just the orphanages best guess. With newborns they go by how fresh the umbilical cord is....with older children I suppose it is the best guess of the drs.
At Jason's office we just updated to an all digital system. The medical world as a whole is required to be digital by a certain time so this was something that had to happen. However, I will say that I knew when we decided to do this how much time it was going to take from me, I would have waited until all of our homestudy and dossier (packet as Jason likes to call it) were finished. I totally feel like the adoption has been put on the back burner in a way because I am working at least 5 days a week and usually like 10 hours a day and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight yet. Then I come home and want to spend time with the boys until they have to go to bed. Then when they are in bed I have things to do like putting deposits in the books, paying the bills, doing payroll, or balancing the work account. This leaves a very exhausted Courtney and not any time to be working on adoption. Now I think looking back I understood how much paperwork was going to be involved....but I wasn't prepared. Now what does that mean...well I knew and expected LOTS of paperwork and there is definitely LOTS of paperwork. I just wasn't prepared for how much time it was going to take. I am the type of person that when I get an assignment in school I immediately got it done so that I didn't have it on my mind all the time. Or I love to make to do lists as to be able to get jobs done to cross off the list. I love the feeling of being finished!!! Well with adoption it isn't stuff that you can just get done...it is a lot of going here and getting this, and then going here and getting this. Not something I can just get all done quickly. Now on top of that I am working all the time so it drives me nuts that I am not getting things checked off the list like I would like. On top of the fingerprinting, financial papers, references, letters for our kids, and home study we have to do 30+ hours of continuing education. Right now Jason and I each are doing 10 hours of online classes for our "hague training". I'm not complaining because I know that these are things that have to be checked off and the reward is bringing our daughter home...but I'm just saying for all of those that are wondering about the timeline that I am HOPING to be logged in by the end of the year but I think I am going to really have to be working hard to get that done, which I have no problem with.
Yesterday Jason and I completed our ALL DAY training that is required by Bethany (our agency) in order to continue on with the home study. This means that we can officially finish our paperwork and move right on to the home visits. Therefore now I am on a dash to get finished up with the paperwork. This is going to mean a trip to Belleville at some point this week because I need to get our marriage certificate, and also ALOT of online classes and books to read...but I know that I can do it. I am ready to get the homestudy under our belt and have smooth sailing from then on. So if you see me at the office or in passing and I look tired know that I probably am tired but that I am enjoying every piece of this adoption puzzle. I just wish I hadn't taken on all the other stuff. The adoption stuff isn't the annoying stuff that has to get done it is the other things that are keeping me from working on the adoption that are the annoying stuff!!! This journey is interesting and stretching me out of my comfort zone but I am so thankful for that.
April 20!!! Wowwy, while we had Grady's bday party on this beautiful day, across the world China felt an earthquake of 7.0. After hearing about this I spent some time wondering, is MeiMei already born and left at an orphanage? Is she born and still with her birth mom who is struggling with whether to parent or not? Will the earthquake be the reason the mom couldn't parent? Is she even born yet? It's so crazy the things that go thru your mind. I mean I love MeiMei and I don't know anything about her. She may not even be born yet!!! My mind does wonder if this earthquake in any way will be the reason that MeiMei's birth mom couldn't parent. Or whether she is already in the orphanage. I know that even when we have MeiMei the only answer we will have is the day that she entered the orphanage because almost all babies that are in the orphanages in China are abandoned somewhere, it isn't like here where the mom calls an agency and hands the baby over to an agency worker, the child is actually abandoned on a door step. Now sometimes they may have a note that gives their birthday but more than not the birthday that we are giving in the referral is just the orphanages best guess. With newborns they go by how fresh the umbilical cord is....with older children I suppose it is the best guess of the drs.
At Jason's office we just updated to an all digital system. The medical world as a whole is required to be digital by a certain time so this was something that had to happen. However, I will say that I knew when we decided to do this how much time it was going to take from me, I would have waited until all of our homestudy and dossier (packet as Jason likes to call it) were finished. I totally feel like the adoption has been put on the back burner in a way because I am working at least 5 days a week and usually like 10 hours a day and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight yet. Then I come home and want to spend time with the boys until they have to go to bed. Then when they are in bed I have things to do like putting deposits in the books, paying the bills, doing payroll, or balancing the work account. This leaves a very exhausted Courtney and not any time to be working on adoption. Now I think looking back I understood how much paperwork was going to be involved....but I wasn't prepared. Now what does that mean...well I knew and expected LOTS of paperwork and there is definitely LOTS of paperwork. I just wasn't prepared for how much time it was going to take. I am the type of person that when I get an assignment in school I immediately got it done so that I didn't have it on my mind all the time. Or I love to make to do lists as to be able to get jobs done to cross off the list. I love the feeling of being finished!!! Well with adoption it isn't stuff that you can just get done...it is a lot of going here and getting this, and then going here and getting this. Not something I can just get all done quickly. Now on top of that I am working all the time so it drives me nuts that I am not getting things checked off the list like I would like. On top of the fingerprinting, financial papers, references, letters for our kids, and home study we have to do 30+ hours of continuing education. Right now Jason and I each are doing 10 hours of online classes for our "hague training". I'm not complaining because I know that these are things that have to be checked off and the reward is bringing our daughter home...but I'm just saying for all of those that are wondering about the timeline that I am HOPING to be logged in by the end of the year but I think I am going to really have to be working hard to get that done, which I have no problem with.
Yesterday Jason and I completed our ALL DAY training that is required by Bethany (our agency) in order to continue on with the home study. This means that we can officially finish our paperwork and move right on to the home visits. Therefore now I am on a dash to get finished up with the paperwork. This is going to mean a trip to Belleville at some point this week because I need to get our marriage certificate, and also ALOT of online classes and books to read...but I know that I can do it. I am ready to get the homestudy under our belt and have smooth sailing from then on. So if you see me at the office or in passing and I look tired know that I probably am tired but that I am enjoying every piece of this adoption puzzle. I just wish I hadn't taken on all the other stuff. The adoption stuff isn't the annoying stuff that has to get done it is the other things that are keeping me from working on the adoption that are the annoying stuff!!! This journey is interesting and stretching me out of my comfort zone but I am so thankful for that.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
TO GOD BE THE GLORY
SO....let me start with a little background for this blog. I was raised in a small town where you wave to the person you meet driving down the road, on a nice day you went for a drive just because, you headed home for dinner when the church bell chimed throughout the town, and you showed up for church and sunday school on sunday mornings. This wasn't something that was an option...well at least not at my house. I am forever thankful for this part of my childhood...probably the most important thing that my mom and grandparents did in my life. I also attended the Lutheran school that my church had and that is the second best thing that my family did for me...I wish that my boys could grow up and attend this school. My character was developed and nurtured here and my innocence was cherished. As a mother I wish that I could give my kids this kind of innocence...the world takes it away too fast these days and you have to be very intentional about keeping this for your children.
When I went off to college I had to find a church to attend because this small country church was no longer an option...so I tried many out and found one that fit and I attended there. If you ask me to this day I will say that I have been a Christian since I was a child. I wasn't raised in a church where you had a HUGE MOMENT where you prayed a prayer to accept Jesus as your savior...although I have always known that He was my God. Now fast forward to the fall of 2005...we had just moved to Nashville over the summer and I seriously will never forget the event that changed my "religious view" forever. I had started attending LCC because I liked the style of contemporary worship and I liked how welcoming the people were and being new to town it was exactly what I needed. Well I had been invited to a bunco game with some women in the community and one of the women there was someone that went to LCC so I knew who she was. We were actually developing a friendship at the time and oddly enough her husband had went to the same SMALL high school that I went to...although he was MUCH older hehehehe. Anyway, her name was Carrie Ford, and her and her husband Ryan had 2 kids at the time (they now have 3). Her kids were very young in fact her oldest was probably 3 at the time and her youngest was 1. We were at this bunco night and she was collecting donations for a mission trip that she was preparing to go on. She was headed to Moldova. I remember that night going home and telling Jason that I didn't understand how a mom with kids that young could leave her kids at home to travel that far...why not let the people with older kids or no kids do that. How could she leave the responsibility on her husband while she is gone and how amazing that he didn't seem to be upset at all...in fact he was supporting her. I remember that those words almost burned my tongue as I said them...seriously it was like immediately I was convicted with "Courtney how can she not go???" God was totally telling me that I was being ridiculous to believe that He couldn't or wouldn't use someone for Him just because we don't think it is the right time. I remember that day so vividly because that was the day that I finally understood the RELATIONSHIP that God wants from us...the total abandonment of ourselves for Him.
OK>...so on with my blog...sorry I am long winded today!!! This morning I was in church and I have been in a funk for the past few days because this Friday would have been my due date with Chesney. I have been bitter when people talk about the 19th and what they have planned for that day without even noticing how that should have been a wonderful day for our family. I have been annoyed that people are already starting to forget her and I hate that!!! Well as I was singing during worship this morning it hit me that unless my family and friends get to heaven, they will NEVER know Chesney. They will never see the gorgeous little girl that Jason and I saw. They will never know who she is or hear her sweet voice. I was so overwhelmed with this emotion that I knew immediately that I needed to blog about this. I know that this is probably making some of you uncomfortable and you are probably thinking that you didn't sign up for a pastors blog but rather a fertility or adoption blog...but this is so important to me that I had to say it.
Pastor Danny spoke from Romans 12 today and I don't want to put you thru a sermon but there are a few things that I want to hit on. The bible tells us that if we are truly transformed by the Spirit we will be a living sacrifice to God. Now in the old testament a sacrifice was made for the atonement of ones sins. That work that they did showed obedience and atoned for their sin. When Jesus came to this earth, took on flesh and bore our sin...ultimately died and rose from the grave the sacrifice was complete. There is no longer anything that you or I can do to earn our salvation or atone for our sins...Jesus did it!!! But the bible also tells us that if we believe all of that good news....we believe that Jesus was God, came to earth in flesh, died on the cross for our sins and rose from the grave...then our lives will be changed. We will bear the fruits of the spirit. If a tree is alive it is growing and bearing fruit but if a tree isn't growing then it is dying. I guess my point is for years I knew that Jesus died and was my God...I knew that I couldn't earn my way to heaven, and I knew that I was a Christian...what I didn't understand is the relationship and how we die to every part of ourselves and if you are a follower of Christ it isn't that God might work through you...it's that he WILL work through you!!!! God uses every situation that you face to glorify Him!!!! Being transformed is giving up control of our lives and telling God that you will do what he wants no matter how it makes you feel. God is infinitely better and infinitely wiser then we are!!! If you get cancer you use it to glorify God, if you have a successful job you use it to glorify God, if you lose a child you use it to glorify God....and that is what I am choosing to do......TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
When I went off to college I had to find a church to attend because this small country church was no longer an option...so I tried many out and found one that fit and I attended there. If you ask me to this day I will say that I have been a Christian since I was a child. I wasn't raised in a church where you had a HUGE MOMENT where you prayed a prayer to accept Jesus as your savior...although I have always known that He was my God. Now fast forward to the fall of 2005...we had just moved to Nashville over the summer and I seriously will never forget the event that changed my "religious view" forever. I had started attending LCC because I liked the style of contemporary worship and I liked how welcoming the people were and being new to town it was exactly what I needed. Well I had been invited to a bunco game with some women in the community and one of the women there was someone that went to LCC so I knew who she was. We were actually developing a friendship at the time and oddly enough her husband had went to the same SMALL high school that I went to...although he was MUCH older hehehehe. Anyway, her name was Carrie Ford, and her and her husband Ryan had 2 kids at the time (they now have 3). Her kids were very young in fact her oldest was probably 3 at the time and her youngest was 1. We were at this bunco night and she was collecting donations for a mission trip that she was preparing to go on. She was headed to Moldova. I remember that night going home and telling Jason that I didn't understand how a mom with kids that young could leave her kids at home to travel that far...why not let the people with older kids or no kids do that. How could she leave the responsibility on her husband while she is gone and how amazing that he didn't seem to be upset at all...in fact he was supporting her. I remember that those words almost burned my tongue as I said them...seriously it was like immediately I was convicted with "Courtney how can she not go???" God was totally telling me that I was being ridiculous to believe that He couldn't or wouldn't use someone for Him just because we don't think it is the right time. I remember that day so vividly because that was the day that I finally understood the RELATIONSHIP that God wants from us...the total abandonment of ourselves for Him.
OK>...so on with my blog...sorry I am long winded today!!! This morning I was in church and I have been in a funk for the past few days because this Friday would have been my due date with Chesney. I have been bitter when people talk about the 19th and what they have planned for that day without even noticing how that should have been a wonderful day for our family. I have been annoyed that people are already starting to forget her and I hate that!!! Well as I was singing during worship this morning it hit me that unless my family and friends get to heaven, they will NEVER know Chesney. They will never see the gorgeous little girl that Jason and I saw. They will never know who she is or hear her sweet voice. I was so overwhelmed with this emotion that I knew immediately that I needed to blog about this. I know that this is probably making some of you uncomfortable and you are probably thinking that you didn't sign up for a pastors blog but rather a fertility or adoption blog...but this is so important to me that I had to say it.
Pastor Danny spoke from Romans 12 today and I don't want to put you thru a sermon but there are a few things that I want to hit on. The bible tells us that if we are truly transformed by the Spirit we will be a living sacrifice to God. Now in the old testament a sacrifice was made for the atonement of ones sins. That work that they did showed obedience and atoned for their sin. When Jesus came to this earth, took on flesh and bore our sin...ultimately died and rose from the grave the sacrifice was complete. There is no longer anything that you or I can do to earn our salvation or atone for our sins...Jesus did it!!! But the bible also tells us that if we believe all of that good news....we believe that Jesus was God, came to earth in flesh, died on the cross for our sins and rose from the grave...then our lives will be changed. We will bear the fruits of the spirit. If a tree is alive it is growing and bearing fruit but if a tree isn't growing then it is dying. I guess my point is for years I knew that Jesus died and was my God...I knew that I couldn't earn my way to heaven, and I knew that I was a Christian...what I didn't understand is the relationship and how we die to every part of ourselves and if you are a follower of Christ it isn't that God might work through you...it's that he WILL work through you!!!! God uses every situation that you face to glorify Him!!!! Being transformed is giving up control of our lives and telling God that you will do what he wants no matter how it makes you feel. God is infinitely better and infinitely wiser then we are!!! If you get cancer you use it to glorify God, if you have a successful job you use it to glorify God, if you lose a child you use it to glorify God....and that is what I am choosing to do......TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
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