TO GOD BE THE GLORY

SO....let me start with a little background for this blog.  I was raised in a small town where you wave to the person you meet driving down the road, on a nice day you went for a drive just because, you headed home for dinner when the church bell chimed throughout the town, and you showed up for church and sunday school on sunday mornings.  This wasn't something that was an option...well at least not at my house.  I am forever thankful for this part of my childhood...probably the most important thing that my mom and grandparents did in my life.  I also attended the Lutheran school that my church had and that is the second best thing that my family did for me...I wish that my boys could grow up and attend this school.  My character was developed and nurtured here and my innocence was cherished.  As a mother I wish that I could give my kids this kind of innocence...the world takes it away too fast these days and you have to be very intentional about keeping this for your children. 

When I went off to college I had to find a church to attend because this small country church was no longer an option...so I tried many out and found one that fit and I attended there.  If you ask me to this day I will say that I have been a Christian since I was a child.  I wasn't raised in a church where you had a HUGE MOMENT where you prayed a prayer to accept Jesus as your savior...although I have always known that He was my God.  Now fast forward to the fall of 2005...we had just moved to Nashville over the summer and I seriously will never forget the event that changed my "religious view" forever.  I had started attending LCC because I liked the style of contemporary worship and I liked how welcoming the people were and being new to town it was exactly what I needed.  Well I had been invited to a bunco game with some women in the community and one of the women there was someone that went to LCC so I knew who she was.  We were actually developing a friendship at the time and oddly enough her husband had went to the same SMALL high school that I went to...although he was MUCH older hehehehe.  Anyway, her name was Carrie Ford, and her and her husband Ryan had 2 kids at the time (they now have 3).  Her kids were very young in fact her oldest was probably 3 at the time and her youngest was 1.  We were at this bunco night and she was collecting donations for a mission trip that she was preparing to go on.  She was headed to Moldova.  I remember that night going home and telling Jason that I didn't understand how a mom with kids that young could leave her kids at home to travel that far...why not let the people with older kids or no kids do that.  How could she leave the responsibility on her husband while she is gone and how amazing that he didn't seem to be upset at all...in fact he was supporting her.  I remember that those words almost burned my tongue as I said them...seriously it was like immediately I was convicted with "Courtney how can she not go???"  God was totally telling me that I was being ridiculous to believe that He couldn't or wouldn't use someone for Him just because we don't think it is the right time.  I remember that day so vividly because that was the day that I finally understood the RELATIONSHIP that God wants from us...the total abandonment of ourselves for Him. 

OK>...so on with my blog...sorry I am long winded today!!!  This morning I was in church and I have been in a funk for the past few days because this Friday would have been my due date with Chesney.  I have been bitter when people talk about the 19th and what they have planned for that day without even noticing how that should have been a wonderful day for our family.  I have been annoyed that people are already starting to forget her and I hate that!!!  Well as I was singing during worship this morning it hit me that unless my family and friends get to heaven, they will NEVER know Chesney.  They will never see the gorgeous little girl that Jason and I saw.  They will never know who she is or hear her sweet voice.  I was so overwhelmed with this emotion that I knew immediately that I needed to blog about this.  I know that this is probably making some of you uncomfortable and you are probably thinking that you didn't sign up for a pastors blog but rather a fertility or adoption blog...but this is so important to me that I had to say it. 

Pastor Danny spoke from Romans 12 today and I don't want to put you thru a sermon but there are a few things that I want to hit on.  The bible tells us that if we are truly transformed by the Spirit we will be a living sacrifice to God.  Now in the old testament a sacrifice was made for the atonement of ones sins.  That work that they did showed obedience and atoned for their sin.  When Jesus came to this earth, took on flesh and bore our sin...ultimately died and rose from the grave the sacrifice was complete.  There is no longer anything that you or I can do to earn our salvation or atone for our sins...Jesus did it!!!  But the bible also tells us that if we believe all of that good news....we believe that Jesus was God, came to earth in flesh, died on the cross for our sins and rose from the grave...then our lives will be changed.  We will bear the fruits of the spirit.  If a tree is alive it is growing and bearing fruit but if a tree isn't growing then it is dying.  I guess my point is for years I knew that Jesus died and was my God...I knew that I couldn't earn my way to heaven, and I knew that I was a Christian...what I didn't understand is the relationship and how we die to every part of ourselves and if you are a follower of Christ it isn't that God might work through you...it's that he WILL work through you!!!!  God uses every situation that you face to glorify Him!!!!  Being transformed is giving up control of our lives and telling God that you will do what he wants no matter how it makes you feel.  God is infinitely better and infinitely wiser then we are!!!  If you get cancer you use it to glorify God, if you have a successful job you use it to glorify God, if you lose a child you use it to glorify God....and that is what I am choosing to do......TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!