Full disclosure

Late February into early March, a couple from Nashville went to China to pick up there little girl!!!  She is gorgeous!!!  While they were there the mom blogged about their trip on a popular adoption site.  I followed that blog every day that they were there and I found that I couldn't wait to see what the next post was.  I was almost jealous that I was going to miss out on that experience.  I knew how excited I was about surrogacy but for some reason I was just obsessed with their trip to China.  The entire thing appealed to me.  Well the day that they got home, I told Jason that I was bummed that I wouldn't get to read about their experience any more.  I would miss checking their blog 5 times a day to see if there was anything new.  Well...that was the same day that I got the call from Dr Odem saying that my blood work was bad.  I really believe that was the calmness that came over me instantly.  I knew immediately that our journey wasn't over, it was just gonna change.  Jason and I thought that China adoption was going to be our path originally...but then we were blessed with Kelly's offer.  God totally knows what I need more than I do!!!  He knew that I needed that path explored and closed in order for my entire heart to be into the adoption that lied ahead of us!!! 

So...I have been debating this week about whether or not I was going to continue this blog.  I know that some of you read this because you are curious, and some read it because I tell them too and they don't really care.  All in all the world would keep turning without my confusing, rambling blog....so I wasn't sure if I should put all of this out there or not.  I was talking to a wise friend tonight and I asked her what she thought...she wisely said "if you don't document the process, you will look back and regret it"....and she followed by saying "and you better let me read it".  SO I thought she is sooo right....I do want my thoughts down on paper.  The blog is something that I can print and put together into a binder and I will be able to show my daughter one day just how much we wanted her.  Exactly what I was thinking during this long process.

SO...the process.  On March 18th, Jason and I submitted our formal application to Bethany Christian Services to adopt a little girl from China.  Now we submitted thru the "waiting child" list which is a MUCH shorter wait then the regular baby adoption.  A baby adoption is a 7 year wait once you get ALL the paperwork done and are "logged in".  The waiting child program is also called the "special needs" program.  In china a baby with a mole or birth mark is considered special needs.  So we fill out on a check list what we are willing to look at and what we aren't comfortable with.  With this program there is probably a year wait once we are "logged in".  My goal is to be logged in by the end of the year but that is really going to be pushing it because of how much you have to do and how long everything takes!!!  But realistically we could be going to pick up our daughter in 2 years.  Also with this program the youngest we will be bringing home will probably be a 2 year old.  This was a hang up at first for me, but then I started thinking that in 2 years Chesney would be 2....this is exactly what God is planning I just know it.  It just feels right this time.  On March 22 (today) we got word that our formal application was accepted and we are now in the waiting child program for China.  We are waiting for a little girl ages 0-2 and cannot wait to see who she is!!!!  Think about that...she might be born right now and her mom might be deciding to give her up....she might not even be born yet....we just don't know but cannot wait until we get to see her picture!!!

So here is the quick explanation of how this works.  Basically we will be jumping thru hoops for the next several months.  We have to have a home study, finger prints, background, check, passports, birth certificates, marriage certificates, immigration paperwork, you name it we will be doing it.  Once we are "logged in" we just wait.  Some unknown day at an unknown time we will get a phone call saying that they have a referral for us to consider...that will be followed by an email with her picture and the limited information that they have on her. Then we will have to decide if she is the missing member to our family.  I just feel like I will know as soon as I see her!!!  So....this journey at the beginning probably won't be that interesting to the majority of you.  I just want a place that I can keep track of what we are doing when and how long this process took!!!  I also want to be able to look back at my feelings throughout the entire process!!!  This will also end with a 2 week stay in China which I am also excited about!!

For those of you that are thinking what many have already said let me just address this now.  "why don't you adopt from the US, there are many kids here that need good homes"....We have 2 biological children which doesn't make us good candidates for US adoption....also after all the sadness and disappointment, I just cannot handle worrying the entire pregnancy if the mom is going to change her mind.  I think that there are many people who are right for the US adoption process....it just isn't something that I can handle so China is the right choice for us.  Plus I am so excited about a dark headed little girl!!!  My little China Doll!!!!