Thursday, May 23, 2013
Homestudy Paperwork FINISHED!!!
I am so excited to be blogging to say that today Jason and I went and got our TB tests read and picked up the results, and I also picked up the letter from our accountant. Those were the last 2 things that I needed to go in my last pack that I was sending to Bethany!!!! So I am officially done with the paperwork for the homestudy and am waiting to set up our home visits!!! I still have to do our packet but from what I understand, a big majority of what goes into that are the same things in the home study except I have to get them state sealed and consulate approved so that will be the challenge during that period. So as of now I am excited to have this part of the process finished!!! I am hoping to hear from Bethany in the next 2 weeks to see when our visits will start!!!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
HOLY SMOKES!!!!
So I am sitting down to write this blog FULL of excitement. For all of you who message me after my blogs about how you just cried and cried...this will NOT be one of those!!!! I just got off the phone with the adoption agency and confirmed that the things that I will be sending at the end of the week will complete our paperwork. Since this blog is intended to chronicle adoption among other things let me give you a list of what the first set of paperwork included:
Also today was the day we picked up Connor's report card...all As and he is finished for the summer. I am excited to have both boys home and get to slow down our pace a bit this summer!!! Glad to have all the paperwork done so that I can enjoy them and just want for the 3 home visits. The dossier probably won't be starting until school resumes....so that gives us this summer to chill a bit!!!
I want to end by saying that I really appreciate EVERYONE that had to help with this process....everyone that wrote a letter for my kids, or filled out the personal reference form and sent it back...I know that no one even complained but I am thrilled to call you all friends and am so thankful that you were so willing to step up and help us thru this process!! I cannot wait to get MeiMei home and get to share her with all of you!!!! Ending this paperwork just makes me feel like we have taken a HUGE step to getting her finally!!!! I will blog again at the end of the week when the packet is in the mail!!!! Have a great and blessed day!!! Enjoy those kiddos!!!!
- Financial statement - individual (one for each of us to show what we are each worth)
- financial statement - monthly (showing where every penny we make is spent
- verification of financials - bank statements
- special placement needs questionnaire (detailed form showing different needs)
- adoptive family information sheet
- family history (one for each - asks about our childhood and parents)
- SAFE questionnaire (one for each - again about how our childhood was)
- Employer reference (ours was from our accountant...that's fun this time of year)
- family member reference
- 5 personal references (each have to fill out a form and send back)
- Letter for Grady from babysitter
- Letter for Connor from sunday school teacher
- Jason's fingerprints for FBI, STATE, and CANTS
- Courtneys fingerprints for FBI, STATE, and CANTS
- fingerprint receipts
- ORI form
- Medical Exam (one for all 4 of us)
- Adoption release and consent
- TB test for Jason
- TB test for Courtney
- Drug test for Jason
- Drug test for Courtney
- Authorization of release of information
- Guardianship statement (what happens if Jason and I die on flight...had to have someone for our boys lined up)
- affidavit of health insurance coverage
- Permission/consent form
- unforeseen additional fees form
- change in family status form
- parental discipline policy
- notice of privacy practices
- recipient rights procedure
- full day of training sheet
- consumer grievance procedure
- prospective adoptive parent training requirement
- CPR card for Jason
- CPR card for Courtney
- 2 years previous tax returns
- copy of marriage license
- Copy of birth certificates ( one for all 4 of us)
- copy of pet vaccination records
- picture of family
- duty of disclosure I-800
- Also had to do 10+ hours of online hague training for each of us
- also had to read 5 books and each of us had to do a book report on it
Also today was the day we picked up Connor's report card...all As and he is finished for the summer. I am excited to have both boys home and get to slow down our pace a bit this summer!!! Glad to have all the paperwork done so that I can enjoy them and just want for the 3 home visits. The dossier probably won't be starting until school resumes....so that gives us this summer to chill a bit!!!
I want to end by saying that I really appreciate EVERYONE that had to help with this process....everyone that wrote a letter for my kids, or filled out the personal reference form and sent it back...I know that no one even complained but I am thrilled to call you all friends and am so thankful that you were so willing to step up and help us thru this process!! I cannot wait to get MeiMei home and get to share her with all of you!!!! Ending this paperwork just makes me feel like we have taken a HUGE step to getting her finally!!!! I will blog again at the end of the week when the packet is in the mail!!!! Have a great and blessed day!!! Enjoy those kiddos!!!!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Time Marches on.....
Random I know, but one of Connor's favorite songs is "Time Marches On" by Tracy Lawrence. I know that anyone that knows me very well is laughing and thinking, he is just like his mom!! Anyway, the song talks about how life changes and time moves on. I know that I have spoke about this before but yesterday I was struck twice with different emotions. First when I got home and saw the mail sitting on the island there was a card for me from Mercy HeartPrints. I knew exactly what it was. St John's Mercy has a program called HeartPrints. I will say that if anyone lives by a hospital and there isn't a program like this I challenge you to get involved and help start one!!! This program is headed by a nurse who delivered a still born child years ago. It is full of moms like me that have delivered a still born child and want to help others like us. So the day that I was admitted to the hospital I met the leader of this group and she visited me every day until we left the hospital. At first I was annoyed by her....I didn't want my friends there, so why would I want this stranger to keep coming in and asking me about my feelings and how I am doing. Little did I know how much this lady would do for me in the coming days!!! She had explained to me that she would be there when Chesney was born and after I was done holding her and ready to hand her over that she would take Chesney for a little while. At that point I was focused on the labor and didn't really pay attention to what she was saying. So the day came....I know it's hard to believe because she was so small but Chesney's delivery was VERY painful and of course VERY long. She was delivered without anyone in the room as once it happens it goes quick. So Jason was the one that told me that she was here and then he ran out to get the nurse. She then called the "HeartPrints lady". So they took her to the side table and wiped her off for a minute and then handed her to me. Jason and I held her for quite awhile and then the doctors needed to work on me some more so the "HeartPrints lady" took her and told me to call her when I wanted her to bring her back.
I really had no idea what was happening during that time but seriously let me tell you how amazing this lady is!!! She took Chesney and gave her a bath and then did pictures for me. She took some of the same pictures that we did of her but the one that she took that we never would have thought of is the picture that you have seen if I have showed you any picture. It was a picture of the bottom of her little feet. The other thing that she did is hand prints and foot prints. What a cherished memory of mine!!!! I have it framed as well as the foot picture. It's amazing how small the footprints are but how in the picture the feet look so big. Anyway, when they brought her back she also brought me things like the blanket that she was wrapped in, and a little homemade beaded ring made of beads and then the letter beads spelled out ANGEL. They had used it in the pictures of her so that you can see a size reference as it looks huge by her but it is a ring. She gave me ALL those memories of my sweet Chesney. How amazing is that!!!!! So anyway I opened what I knew would be a mothers day card because they sent me a homemade ornament at christmas and other cards along the way. What I didn't expect to find in the mothers day card was a matching ring to the ANGEL ring I received at the hospital but his time with MOM on it. Oh how I will cherish it!!! I smiled when I got it...I didn't cry....that is progress!!!!
Also yesterday we had an all day training at work...it was long and not really all that fun. At the end of the training after most of the girls had gone home the trainer was asking about grady who had just left. She asked if this was our only child and I said no that we had an older boy that was at school. She said "awe no beautiful blonde haired little girl?" Now not too long ago this would have been a huge trigger to my emotions but I was able to respond...."no, but we are in the process of adopting a little black haired girl from China". Not that I want to forget about Chesney because we talk about her all the time here....but I don't feel the need to put strangers in that awkward position of listening to what I know they don't need to hear. Now it's strange how time marches on....but it sure does.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Catching up....
WOWWY....I have wanted to blog so many times in the last 3 weeks but have been soooo busy and haven't had time to sit down and give it the justice that it deserves. First of all Chesney's due date has come and gone and I want to thank all those of you that sent me your thoughts that day, cards and especially the prayers. Boy did I feel the prayers!!! I was prepared for the emotions of that day and to be honest, the sadness was there but no more so then every other minute that I think about it. Maybe that day I spent a lot more time thinking about her but I made it thru and was fine. I did make a trip out to the cemetery while Grady was sleeping in the car and it was amazing to see that there is no longer a big lump of dirt, it was as though the burial was years ago not just 4 short months ago. I guess it is with everything else, time keeps going. I often go back "home" to St Peter and see someone that when I left was just a little kid, now they are graduating high school or already in college. It's amazing how I feel like I haven't aged that many years but to see them all grown up is a tough reminder that time is moving quickly. I guess that is how I felt at the grave that day, time is moving on whether I like it or not so I need to just keep up cause my boys need me to. So I guess April 19 was a great day where I felt Chesney and God really giving me permission to start focusing on MeiMei and not spending so much energy being sad. I know that Chesney is in God's hands and she is looking down at me and I want to make her proud and be a good example for her, just like I would want to do if she were here with me.
April 20!!! Wowwy, while we had Grady's bday party on this beautiful day, across the world China felt an earthquake of 7.0. After hearing about this I spent some time wondering, is MeiMei already born and left at an orphanage? Is she born and still with her birth mom who is struggling with whether to parent or not? Will the earthquake be the reason the mom couldn't parent? Is she even born yet? It's so crazy the things that go thru your mind. I mean I love MeiMei and I don't know anything about her. She may not even be born yet!!! My mind does wonder if this earthquake in any way will be the reason that MeiMei's birth mom couldn't parent. Or whether she is already in the orphanage. I know that even when we have MeiMei the only answer we will have is the day that she entered the orphanage because almost all babies that are in the orphanages in China are abandoned somewhere, it isn't like here where the mom calls an agency and hands the baby over to an agency worker, the child is actually abandoned on a door step. Now sometimes they may have a note that gives their birthday but more than not the birthday that we are giving in the referral is just the orphanages best guess. With newborns they go by how fresh the umbilical cord is....with older children I suppose it is the best guess of the drs.
At Jason's office we just updated to an all digital system. The medical world as a whole is required to be digital by a certain time so this was something that had to happen. However, I will say that I knew when we decided to do this how much time it was going to take from me, I would have waited until all of our homestudy and dossier (packet as Jason likes to call it) were finished. I totally feel like the adoption has been put on the back burner in a way because I am working at least 5 days a week and usually like 10 hours a day and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight yet. Then I come home and want to spend time with the boys until they have to go to bed. Then when they are in bed I have things to do like putting deposits in the books, paying the bills, doing payroll, or balancing the work account. This leaves a very exhausted Courtney and not any time to be working on adoption. Now I think looking back I understood how much paperwork was going to be involved....but I wasn't prepared. Now what does that mean...well I knew and expected LOTS of paperwork and there is definitely LOTS of paperwork. I just wasn't prepared for how much time it was going to take. I am the type of person that when I get an assignment in school I immediately got it done so that I didn't have it on my mind all the time. Or I love to make to do lists as to be able to get jobs done to cross off the list. I love the feeling of being finished!!! Well with adoption it isn't stuff that you can just get done...it is a lot of going here and getting this, and then going here and getting this. Not something I can just get all done quickly. Now on top of that I am working all the time so it drives me nuts that I am not getting things checked off the list like I would like. On top of the fingerprinting, financial papers, references, letters for our kids, and home study we have to do 30+ hours of continuing education. Right now Jason and I each are doing 10 hours of online classes for our "hague training". I'm not complaining because I know that these are things that have to be checked off and the reward is bringing our daughter home...but I'm just saying for all of those that are wondering about the timeline that I am HOPING to be logged in by the end of the year but I think I am going to really have to be working hard to get that done, which I have no problem with.
Yesterday Jason and I completed our ALL DAY training that is required by Bethany (our agency) in order to continue on with the home study. This means that we can officially finish our paperwork and move right on to the home visits. Therefore now I am on a dash to get finished up with the paperwork. This is going to mean a trip to Belleville at some point this week because I need to get our marriage certificate, and also ALOT of online classes and books to read...but I know that I can do it. I am ready to get the homestudy under our belt and have smooth sailing from then on. So if you see me at the office or in passing and I look tired know that I probably am tired but that I am enjoying every piece of this adoption puzzle. I just wish I hadn't taken on all the other stuff. The adoption stuff isn't the annoying stuff that has to get done it is the other things that are keeping me from working on the adoption that are the annoying stuff!!! This journey is interesting and stretching me out of my comfort zone but I am so thankful for that.
April 20!!! Wowwy, while we had Grady's bday party on this beautiful day, across the world China felt an earthquake of 7.0. After hearing about this I spent some time wondering, is MeiMei already born and left at an orphanage? Is she born and still with her birth mom who is struggling with whether to parent or not? Will the earthquake be the reason the mom couldn't parent? Is she even born yet? It's so crazy the things that go thru your mind. I mean I love MeiMei and I don't know anything about her. She may not even be born yet!!! My mind does wonder if this earthquake in any way will be the reason that MeiMei's birth mom couldn't parent. Or whether she is already in the orphanage. I know that even when we have MeiMei the only answer we will have is the day that she entered the orphanage because almost all babies that are in the orphanages in China are abandoned somewhere, it isn't like here where the mom calls an agency and hands the baby over to an agency worker, the child is actually abandoned on a door step. Now sometimes they may have a note that gives their birthday but more than not the birthday that we are giving in the referral is just the orphanages best guess. With newborns they go by how fresh the umbilical cord is....with older children I suppose it is the best guess of the drs.
At Jason's office we just updated to an all digital system. The medical world as a whole is required to be digital by a certain time so this was something that had to happen. However, I will say that I knew when we decided to do this how much time it was going to take from me, I would have waited until all of our homestudy and dossier (packet as Jason likes to call it) were finished. I totally feel like the adoption has been put on the back burner in a way because I am working at least 5 days a week and usually like 10 hours a day and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight yet. Then I come home and want to spend time with the boys until they have to go to bed. Then when they are in bed I have things to do like putting deposits in the books, paying the bills, doing payroll, or balancing the work account. This leaves a very exhausted Courtney and not any time to be working on adoption. Now I think looking back I understood how much paperwork was going to be involved....but I wasn't prepared. Now what does that mean...well I knew and expected LOTS of paperwork and there is definitely LOTS of paperwork. I just wasn't prepared for how much time it was going to take. I am the type of person that when I get an assignment in school I immediately got it done so that I didn't have it on my mind all the time. Or I love to make to do lists as to be able to get jobs done to cross off the list. I love the feeling of being finished!!! Well with adoption it isn't stuff that you can just get done...it is a lot of going here and getting this, and then going here and getting this. Not something I can just get all done quickly. Now on top of that I am working all the time so it drives me nuts that I am not getting things checked off the list like I would like. On top of the fingerprinting, financial papers, references, letters for our kids, and home study we have to do 30+ hours of continuing education. Right now Jason and I each are doing 10 hours of online classes for our "hague training". I'm not complaining because I know that these are things that have to be checked off and the reward is bringing our daughter home...but I'm just saying for all of those that are wondering about the timeline that I am HOPING to be logged in by the end of the year but I think I am going to really have to be working hard to get that done, which I have no problem with.
Yesterday Jason and I completed our ALL DAY training that is required by Bethany (our agency) in order to continue on with the home study. This means that we can officially finish our paperwork and move right on to the home visits. Therefore now I am on a dash to get finished up with the paperwork. This is going to mean a trip to Belleville at some point this week because I need to get our marriage certificate, and also ALOT of online classes and books to read...but I know that I can do it. I am ready to get the homestudy under our belt and have smooth sailing from then on. So if you see me at the office or in passing and I look tired know that I probably am tired but that I am enjoying every piece of this adoption puzzle. I just wish I hadn't taken on all the other stuff. The adoption stuff isn't the annoying stuff that has to get done it is the other things that are keeping me from working on the adoption that are the annoying stuff!!! This journey is interesting and stretching me out of my comfort zone but I am so thankful for that.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
TO GOD BE THE GLORY
SO....let me start with a little background for this blog. I was raised in a small town where you wave to the person you meet driving down the road, on a nice day you went for a drive just because, you headed home for dinner when the church bell chimed throughout the town, and you showed up for church and sunday school on sunday mornings. This wasn't something that was an option...well at least not at my house. I am forever thankful for this part of my childhood...probably the most important thing that my mom and grandparents did in my life. I also attended the Lutheran school that my church had and that is the second best thing that my family did for me...I wish that my boys could grow up and attend this school. My character was developed and nurtured here and my innocence was cherished. As a mother I wish that I could give my kids this kind of innocence...the world takes it away too fast these days and you have to be very intentional about keeping this for your children.
When I went off to college I had to find a church to attend because this small country church was no longer an option...so I tried many out and found one that fit and I attended there. If you ask me to this day I will say that I have been a Christian since I was a child. I wasn't raised in a church where you had a HUGE MOMENT where you prayed a prayer to accept Jesus as your savior...although I have always known that He was my God. Now fast forward to the fall of 2005...we had just moved to Nashville over the summer and I seriously will never forget the event that changed my "religious view" forever. I had started attending LCC because I liked the style of contemporary worship and I liked how welcoming the people were and being new to town it was exactly what I needed. Well I had been invited to a bunco game with some women in the community and one of the women there was someone that went to LCC so I knew who she was. We were actually developing a friendship at the time and oddly enough her husband had went to the same SMALL high school that I went to...although he was MUCH older hehehehe. Anyway, her name was Carrie Ford, and her and her husband Ryan had 2 kids at the time (they now have 3). Her kids were very young in fact her oldest was probably 3 at the time and her youngest was 1. We were at this bunco night and she was collecting donations for a mission trip that she was preparing to go on. She was headed to Moldova. I remember that night going home and telling Jason that I didn't understand how a mom with kids that young could leave her kids at home to travel that far...why not let the people with older kids or no kids do that. How could she leave the responsibility on her husband while she is gone and how amazing that he didn't seem to be upset at all...in fact he was supporting her. I remember that those words almost burned my tongue as I said them...seriously it was like immediately I was convicted with "Courtney how can she not go???" God was totally telling me that I was being ridiculous to believe that He couldn't or wouldn't use someone for Him just because we don't think it is the right time. I remember that day so vividly because that was the day that I finally understood the RELATIONSHIP that God wants from us...the total abandonment of ourselves for Him.
OK>...so on with my blog...sorry I am long winded today!!! This morning I was in church and I have been in a funk for the past few days because this Friday would have been my due date with Chesney. I have been bitter when people talk about the 19th and what they have planned for that day without even noticing how that should have been a wonderful day for our family. I have been annoyed that people are already starting to forget her and I hate that!!! Well as I was singing during worship this morning it hit me that unless my family and friends get to heaven, they will NEVER know Chesney. They will never see the gorgeous little girl that Jason and I saw. They will never know who she is or hear her sweet voice. I was so overwhelmed with this emotion that I knew immediately that I needed to blog about this. I know that this is probably making some of you uncomfortable and you are probably thinking that you didn't sign up for a pastors blog but rather a fertility or adoption blog...but this is so important to me that I had to say it.
Pastor Danny spoke from Romans 12 today and I don't want to put you thru a sermon but there are a few things that I want to hit on. The bible tells us that if we are truly transformed by the Spirit we will be a living sacrifice to God. Now in the old testament a sacrifice was made for the atonement of ones sins. That work that they did showed obedience and atoned for their sin. When Jesus came to this earth, took on flesh and bore our sin...ultimately died and rose from the grave the sacrifice was complete. There is no longer anything that you or I can do to earn our salvation or atone for our sins...Jesus did it!!! But the bible also tells us that if we believe all of that good news....we believe that Jesus was God, came to earth in flesh, died on the cross for our sins and rose from the grave...then our lives will be changed. We will bear the fruits of the spirit. If a tree is alive it is growing and bearing fruit but if a tree isn't growing then it is dying. I guess my point is for years I knew that Jesus died and was my God...I knew that I couldn't earn my way to heaven, and I knew that I was a Christian...what I didn't understand is the relationship and how we die to every part of ourselves and if you are a follower of Christ it isn't that God might work through you...it's that he WILL work through you!!!! God uses every situation that you face to glorify Him!!!! Being transformed is giving up control of our lives and telling God that you will do what he wants no matter how it makes you feel. God is infinitely better and infinitely wiser then we are!!! If you get cancer you use it to glorify God, if you have a successful job you use it to glorify God, if you lose a child you use it to glorify God....and that is what I am choosing to do......TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
When I went off to college I had to find a church to attend because this small country church was no longer an option...so I tried many out and found one that fit and I attended there. If you ask me to this day I will say that I have been a Christian since I was a child. I wasn't raised in a church where you had a HUGE MOMENT where you prayed a prayer to accept Jesus as your savior...although I have always known that He was my God. Now fast forward to the fall of 2005...we had just moved to Nashville over the summer and I seriously will never forget the event that changed my "religious view" forever. I had started attending LCC because I liked the style of contemporary worship and I liked how welcoming the people were and being new to town it was exactly what I needed. Well I had been invited to a bunco game with some women in the community and one of the women there was someone that went to LCC so I knew who she was. We were actually developing a friendship at the time and oddly enough her husband had went to the same SMALL high school that I went to...although he was MUCH older hehehehe. Anyway, her name was Carrie Ford, and her and her husband Ryan had 2 kids at the time (they now have 3). Her kids were very young in fact her oldest was probably 3 at the time and her youngest was 1. We were at this bunco night and she was collecting donations for a mission trip that she was preparing to go on. She was headed to Moldova. I remember that night going home and telling Jason that I didn't understand how a mom with kids that young could leave her kids at home to travel that far...why not let the people with older kids or no kids do that. How could she leave the responsibility on her husband while she is gone and how amazing that he didn't seem to be upset at all...in fact he was supporting her. I remember that those words almost burned my tongue as I said them...seriously it was like immediately I was convicted with "Courtney how can she not go???" God was totally telling me that I was being ridiculous to believe that He couldn't or wouldn't use someone for Him just because we don't think it is the right time. I remember that day so vividly because that was the day that I finally understood the RELATIONSHIP that God wants from us...the total abandonment of ourselves for Him.
OK>...so on with my blog...sorry I am long winded today!!! This morning I was in church and I have been in a funk for the past few days because this Friday would have been my due date with Chesney. I have been bitter when people talk about the 19th and what they have planned for that day without even noticing how that should have been a wonderful day for our family. I have been annoyed that people are already starting to forget her and I hate that!!! Well as I was singing during worship this morning it hit me that unless my family and friends get to heaven, they will NEVER know Chesney. They will never see the gorgeous little girl that Jason and I saw. They will never know who she is or hear her sweet voice. I was so overwhelmed with this emotion that I knew immediately that I needed to blog about this. I know that this is probably making some of you uncomfortable and you are probably thinking that you didn't sign up for a pastors blog but rather a fertility or adoption blog...but this is so important to me that I had to say it.
Pastor Danny spoke from Romans 12 today and I don't want to put you thru a sermon but there are a few things that I want to hit on. The bible tells us that if we are truly transformed by the Spirit we will be a living sacrifice to God. Now in the old testament a sacrifice was made for the atonement of ones sins. That work that they did showed obedience and atoned for their sin. When Jesus came to this earth, took on flesh and bore our sin...ultimately died and rose from the grave the sacrifice was complete. There is no longer anything that you or I can do to earn our salvation or atone for our sins...Jesus did it!!! But the bible also tells us that if we believe all of that good news....we believe that Jesus was God, came to earth in flesh, died on the cross for our sins and rose from the grave...then our lives will be changed. We will bear the fruits of the spirit. If a tree is alive it is growing and bearing fruit but if a tree isn't growing then it is dying. I guess my point is for years I knew that Jesus died and was my God...I knew that I couldn't earn my way to heaven, and I knew that I was a Christian...what I didn't understand is the relationship and how we die to every part of ourselves and if you are a follower of Christ it isn't that God might work through you...it's that he WILL work through you!!!! God uses every situation that you face to glorify Him!!!! Being transformed is giving up control of our lives and telling God that you will do what he wants no matter how it makes you feel. God is infinitely better and infinitely wiser then we are!!! If you get cancer you use it to glorify God, if you have a successful job you use it to glorify God, if you lose a child you use it to glorify God....and that is what I am choosing to do......TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
MeiMei
Alright...I know that I just blogged not too long ago but I wanted to make sure to get this story out there because I figure people that know my children will be asking about it!!! SO....we have been trying to think of what to call the "little sister" from China, since we don't have a name and we don't even know who she is yet. It is really important that she has a name because Grady was getting really confused because we talk about baby Chesney being in heaven but then we talk about little sister in China. So he began to say that Baby Chesney was in China....well I didn't like that because it was almost like he was going to think that baby Chesney in heaven didn't really exist and I didn't want her to be forgotten so I knew we had to think of something. So...I looked up Chinese for little sister which is MeiMei (pronounced MayMay). Well this was perfect....it is easy for Grady to say and both boys could use this....so from now on we are going to refer to our China Doll as MeiMei until she has an official name!!! This will not be her name....but it is a way that the boys can talk about their "little sister" without being confused about Chesney who is in heaven.
I sent a video to a few people today where I asked Grady who his sisters were and he said Chesney in Heaven and MeiMei in China...this is exactly as it should be. She may be gone but her presence for those short months was very real for us and for our boys....she also made the adoption of MeiMei possible. God really used her to change our family and we know that she will forever be a big part of our family. I want to make sure that the boys remember that she existed and that we loved her.
So...if you see my boys and either of them talk about MeiMei...just know that this isn't going to be her name....but it's what we are going to lovingly refer to her as until she has an official name...which will be much much later after we see her sweet face!!! Also if you just want a good laugh and you know Grady ask him about it...it is so cute to hear him talk about it!!!!
I sent a video to a few people today where I asked Grady who his sisters were and he said Chesney in Heaven and MeiMei in China...this is exactly as it should be. She may be gone but her presence for those short months was very real for us and for our boys....she also made the adoption of MeiMei possible. God really used her to change our family and we know that she will forever be a big part of our family. I want to make sure that the boys remember that she existed and that we loved her.
So...if you see my boys and either of them talk about MeiMei...just know that this isn't going to be her name....but it's what we are going to lovingly refer to her as until she has an official name...which will be much much later after we see her sweet face!!! Also if you just want a good laugh and you know Grady ask him about it...it is so cute to hear him talk about it!!!!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
oh the paperwork
Although we have only just begun I am amazed at the amount of paperwork being required!!! We have already done the preliminary application and formal application and are now beginning the home study. We received the home study packet paperwork yesterday. I of course immediately printed it out thinking I would get it finished and get to move on. Boy was I shocked at the amount of paperwork lol. So Jason and I sat down last night and started knocking them out....we really had a huge stack of the finished but the stack yet to do is even bigger lol. We also found out that during this process we have to get "credits" by reading books and writing a paper on it or doing a class online. You are required a certain amount of these before the home study is finished, between home study and referral, and between referral and travel. Seems totally crazy that we are thinking about travel already when it will probably be 2 years before that but I really think the process is going to move along pretty quick since there is SOOOO much BUSY WORK!!!
So as I understand it during the home study we are basically getting clearance from the IL government that we are ok to adopt....then we will do our dossier, which in our house I am not allowed to use that word because jason hates it...I have no idea why...so we call it the packet....and that is a TON more paperwork that we have to do that basically gives us the Federal clearance. Also talked to one of the people we put as a referral yesterday and he received an email from the agency with a form he had to fill out about us. You know most of the time you put references down for jobs or apartments and they are never called...but this agency is being thorough and I assume they contacted all 6 of our references!! We also have to have a letter written for each of our children by someone that knows them well. I guess they want to see how well adjusted they are and also what kind of parents we are. So, today I need to start mailing back some of the paperwork that we have finished and put the copies of what is finished in my binder. So the binder....
On friday night I went to the house of the family I told you I followed while they were in China and that is the turning point that God showed me that adoption is the right direction for us. Well I got to meet their sweet adorable daughter.....man oh man did my heart smile!!! I am so excited to have our little China doll home!!! Anyway, I got to look thru her finished paperwork and get a good handle on the best way to organized the amount of paperwork that would be required...and boy was she organized!!! So.....I am doing that as I go and someday our little girl might want to look thru this as our boys like to look thru their baby book or hear stories about when I was pregnant with them. I have also started writing a little journal page every day about what we are doing that day or things that happened that day....because she could be born any day and when we see what her birth date is I want to be able to look back and see what we were doing that day!!!
We have started really talking to the boys about this and making sure that they are on board and let me tell you...they are BOTH so excited!!! I asked them yesterday if they wanted us to get them a sister from China and they both ecstatically proclaimed YES!!! I asked Connor what he wanted to name her and he said "Ni Hao"...which for those of you that don't know yet, that means hello in Chinese...it is basically the only Chinese I have told them...well that and that GeGe is brother....they think that is so funny because they call their grandma gladson GiGi. So anyway I told Connor that we probably couldn't name her hello....so he agreed to think on it some more!! It was so sweet though because he asked me if they have to keep this a secret like they did when we found out we were pregnant with Chesney......I love that boy, he has the most tender heart....I said nope Connor you can tell whoever you want!!! Connor has already told us that he really wants to go to China with us to see the great wall of china....and although I would love to take him just not sure about that yet. We will have to make that decision at a much later date.
So....I am sure that all of this paperwork isn't going to be very interesting to all of you but I am going to blog about it just so that I have it to print later for our little China doll to read. The next few weeks will consist of getting passports, getting our marriage license, continuing paperwork, fingerprints, background checks and starting our education credits. If there is anyone out there that is thinking about adoption I will say this. Although it isn't an easy process at all, it is definitely something that any one could do if they really wanted to!!! I am to the point where the excitement is so great that all the busy work just keeps my mind off of the long process so I think it helps to have this overwhelming amount of paperwork!! I would also say pick a good agency because they can help at least keep you organized with what you have done and what you still have to do!! And the last amount of advice I would give you is to find someone that has done it before and ask them a million questions. Last friday was so educational for me and also like therapy....it was great to see the finished product or at least talk to someone that knows exactly what I am going thru. I can't wait to be that person that gets to help someone else thru the process!!!!
So as I understand it during the home study we are basically getting clearance from the IL government that we are ok to adopt....then we will do our dossier, which in our house I am not allowed to use that word because jason hates it...I have no idea why...so we call it the packet....and that is a TON more paperwork that we have to do that basically gives us the Federal clearance. Also talked to one of the people we put as a referral yesterday and he received an email from the agency with a form he had to fill out about us. You know most of the time you put references down for jobs or apartments and they are never called...but this agency is being thorough and I assume they contacted all 6 of our references!! We also have to have a letter written for each of our children by someone that knows them well. I guess they want to see how well adjusted they are and also what kind of parents we are. So, today I need to start mailing back some of the paperwork that we have finished and put the copies of what is finished in my binder. So the binder....
On friday night I went to the house of the family I told you I followed while they were in China and that is the turning point that God showed me that adoption is the right direction for us. Well I got to meet their sweet adorable daughter.....man oh man did my heart smile!!! I am so excited to have our little China doll home!!! Anyway, I got to look thru her finished paperwork and get a good handle on the best way to organized the amount of paperwork that would be required...and boy was she organized!!! So.....I am doing that as I go and someday our little girl might want to look thru this as our boys like to look thru their baby book or hear stories about when I was pregnant with them. I have also started writing a little journal page every day about what we are doing that day or things that happened that day....because she could be born any day and when we see what her birth date is I want to be able to look back and see what we were doing that day!!!
We have started really talking to the boys about this and making sure that they are on board and let me tell you...they are BOTH so excited!!! I asked them yesterday if they wanted us to get them a sister from China and they both ecstatically proclaimed YES!!! I asked Connor what he wanted to name her and he said "Ni Hao"...which for those of you that don't know yet, that means hello in Chinese...it is basically the only Chinese I have told them...well that and that GeGe is brother....they think that is so funny because they call their grandma gladson GiGi. So anyway I told Connor that we probably couldn't name her hello....so he agreed to think on it some more!! It was so sweet though because he asked me if they have to keep this a secret like they did when we found out we were pregnant with Chesney......I love that boy, he has the most tender heart....I said nope Connor you can tell whoever you want!!! Connor has already told us that he really wants to go to China with us to see the great wall of china....and although I would love to take him just not sure about that yet. We will have to make that decision at a much later date.
So....I am sure that all of this paperwork isn't going to be very interesting to all of you but I am going to blog about it just so that I have it to print later for our little China doll to read. The next few weeks will consist of getting passports, getting our marriage license, continuing paperwork, fingerprints, background checks and starting our education credits. If there is anyone out there that is thinking about adoption I will say this. Although it isn't an easy process at all, it is definitely something that any one could do if they really wanted to!!! I am to the point where the excitement is so great that all the busy work just keeps my mind off of the long process so I think it helps to have this overwhelming amount of paperwork!! I would also say pick a good agency because they can help at least keep you organized with what you have done and what you still have to do!! And the last amount of advice I would give you is to find someone that has done it before and ask them a million questions. Last friday was so educational for me and also like therapy....it was great to see the finished product or at least talk to someone that knows exactly what I am going thru. I can't wait to be that person that gets to help someone else thru the process!!!!
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